Dazed and Confused: A Love Story
by mistyhaze420
Summary: Poor, poor Jasper...all he wants to do is get stoned and eat dilly bars at the Dairy Queen he works at...but when Edward joins the working force, will he narc or will Jazz have someone to share the delicious treat with?  Takes place in the early 90's. M
1. Freshman Year

**This is a new short story that should be completely posted in about a week. It will only be about four or five chapters long. I regressed back to my teenage years for this one so it takes place in the early and mid 90's. Hope ya'll enjoy!**

_**Songs : Hey Young World by Slick Rick, It Was a Good Day by Ice Cube, Blaze It by Bone Thugs N Harmony**_

**Forks High School - Last Period of the Day - Freshman Gym Class - December 19, 1992**

_**Jasper's POV**_

_I swear to God, gym class was designed by the Devil to make boys like myself teeter on the edge of suicide…_

"Yo, Yo, J-Dawg! What up, Homie?"

Internally I groaned, but externally I turned to Felix and shrugged, "Nothin', man…chillin' like a villain."

"Right, right…so, you holdin', man?"

I looked around for a second to make sure no one was paying attention, then I nodded.

His brown eyes lit up, "Let's bounce, dude."

I grabbed my backpack and followed him as we snuck out of the gym locker room and down the long hallway before reaching an outside entrance. We slipped out and were soon leaning against the back wall of the building behind the dumpsters smoking a joint.

I kicked my Docs against the wall to shake the snow loose and pulled my knit cap down as far as I could, effectively hiding those stupid bouncy curls and sitting right on top of my bloodshot baby blues. I pretty much wore the hat everywhere cuz I couldn't do shit with my frizzy as fuck curls.

_God, I wish I didn't look like such a kid…bouncy blonde curls…are you freakin kiddin' me? And dimples…hey, at least I'm tall, right?_

I inhaled the sweet aroma and held it in my lungs until they felt like they might burst, before erupting into a fit of hacking coughs.

Felix inhaled and coughed out, "Is your sister gonna be at the crib tomorrow night, Dawg? Cuz if she is, me and the guys might crash at your hiz-house."

I sighed because I knew what was coming next, "Nope, it's Saturday and she's got a date, dude."

"Fuck man…Rosie is banging! All that and a bag of fuckin' chips, J-Dawg! Yo, you gotta hook me up, bro!"

I took the joint back and closed my eyes as I wrapped my lips around the only girl that had ever remotely interested me…sweet Mary Jane.

"Felix, she's into jocks, man…not stoners."

He groaned and grabbed the crotch of his baggy jeans, "Man, she is phat…with a capital PH! Fuck! She got them big ole titties and that nice round…"

"Dude! Chill the fuck out! That's my fuckin' sister you're talkin' about!"

He just rolled his eyes and laughed, "Quit trippin', dawg…don't go getting all salty and shit…"

_Jesus Christ, will anyone ever see me…not Rose but __**me**__…_

"Well, why don't you and the guys come over and chill anyway…"

He handed me the roach now and shoved away from the wall, "You gonna have smoke?"

I nodded, "Yeah but my mom might be there so we can't really blaze in the house…"

He sighed as he started walking off, "We'll see, man…talk to your sister for me, J-Dawg!"

_So, that's a 'no we don't wanna hang out with you freaky little loser boy…but fuck yeah we wanna bang your sister and smoke all your pot…'_

_I fuckin hate high school…_

I grumbled as I pulled out my cigarette pack and dropped the roach inside. I threw it in my backpack right as I heard the final bell let out.

I was way too freakin' high to take the bus home and I didn't wanna be ripped still when I got there. I didn't wanna disappoint my mama.

So, I pulled my hoodie up and threw my backpack on my shoulder as I started walking the half hour walk home. I put on my headphones and let the hard beats and lyrical poetry of Bone Thugs N Harmony help me pass the time.

By the time I reached the trailer park, I was freezing my ass off but feeling strangely calm. You see, Mary Jane and Bizzie Bone…if they could prescribe that shit, we'd have no need for Prozac.

I knocked the snow of my Doc's before walking in. Mama was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner.

"Hey baby! How was school today?"

I pulled off my hat and coat before walking over and giving her a kiss on the cheek, "It was good, mama. Dinner smells awesome."

She smiled, "Well, why don't you set the dinner table, baby…Rose is having dinner over at Alice's house tonight, so it's just you and me."

_Thank God…just like Ice Cube said…I didn't even have to use my AK …today was a good day…_

_Fuck, I'm still high…_

During dinner, she reached over and pulled my chin up, "Baby, your eyes are all red…you feelin' alright?"

_Stupid hydro…shit, I didn't really mean that…I'm not mad at you Mary…I love you…shit, answer your mama, ya stoned mother fucker…_

"Um, probably allergies or something." I ducked my head back down and dug into the chicken and noodles mama had made cuz that shit was tasting really fuckin' good right now.

I looked at the clock as soon as I was done and quickly stood, trying not to be conspicuous but knocking a chair over by my enthusiasm, "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower before work, mama?"

She looked at me a little funny as she picked up the chair and I raced past her. "Okay, baby…be careful, son."

_Be careful? I know I'm a little clumsy but I'm just going to the damn…ouch! Mother fucking light fixture…seriously, I am almost six feet tall living in a trailer meant for midgets…no offense to mama whose only 5'2 but I'm just sayin'…_

I quickly showered and tried to knock one out but I kept seeing Rosie's pink razor and I would wonder if maybe I should groom a little down there because you just never know when someone's gonna wanna see it…but I mean, I was a Freshman and hadn't even ever kissed someone yet so I guess it's safe to say I could probably go another day or two…then the thought of a pink razor near my mandingo stick made the testes shrivel so I…_fuck_, is that hair? I can see the little hairs in the razor…now that's just nasty…well, any thoughts of a hard on were long gone now…

I grumbled as I got out of the shower and ready for work. I was supposed to be training someone tonight and I hated that shit. It was gonna be slow as hell cuz working at a Dairy Queen during the winter in one of the coldest, rainiest places in the Continental U.S…yeah, I usually got to just fuck off a lot at night, which was one of the main reasons I got the job in the first damn place…well, and to help mama out some.

So, I hoped whoever this fucker was, he better be cool and not go all nark on me.

I took a deep breath and tried to be pleasant around mama while she drove me to work. She dropped me off at the doors and I quickly rushed in to escape the cold. I noted that the sidewalk was kinda slick so figured I should probably go salt it soon.

I nodded to the pudgy little woman behind the counter, "Hey Maria…how are you today?"

You could tell that Maria was probably the hottest thing this town had ever seen about fifteen years ago but now, four kids later, she relied on her attitude. But she was always nice to me, whenever she wanted something anyway.

She smiled, "Oh, Jasper, my boy…my kids are driving me crazy! Little Ramone just got the chicken pox so now he brought it home to the baby. So, I'm gonna have to head home early tonight to calamine the hell out of them. You can lock up, right? You and the new kid?"

I went in the back and grabbed a bucket of salt, "Sure, Maria, it's no problem. We ain't gonna be busy tonight anyway."

I just hope the new guy doesn't show up so I can get stoned and eat a couple boxes of dilly bars…

I swung open the door, just in time to see a guy go down on the ice. He had just gotten off a bicycle and when he fell, the bike fell on top of him.

I cringed and then held out a hand, "Dude? You okay?"

And then he looked up at me…

_Son of a…_

"Whitlock? What the hell? Do you work here?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand back, "Cullen? Yeah, I do fuckin' work here. What the fuck are you doing here?"

He scowled and muttered as he cautiously rose to his feet, "Should've had the entryway salted already…"

I started pouring out the salt and laughed, "What's the matter, Cullen? Why didn't you just have mommy and daddy drop you off and roll out the red fuckin' carpet for your precious ass…"

He huffed and pushed his black framed glasses up, "Someone could hurt themselves…"

I pulled out a cigarette and blew a puff of smoke out before sighing, "You can sue if ya want to, Cullen…it's not like your daddy don't own half the town already anyway…I'm sure you can make one little phone call and have those fuckin' expensive clothes of yours replaced…oh wait, you don't wear expensive clothes…"

He narrowed his eyes and pulled his flannel closed tighter over his Nirvana t-shirt and dirty torn jeans.

I smirked, "No, you wear grungy clothes from the thrift stores…you're a total poser…"

He rolled his eyes, "Fuck off, Whitlock…wasn't it just last year when you went through that whole backwards clothes, Kriss Kross thing? I often wondered how you'd take a piss with your zipper by your ass. Or in the seventh grade when you used to gel the shit out of your hair so it would stand up like that guy from Kid n Play?"

My cheeks were burning…who would've thought that Kid n Play weren't really that cool? House Party was the fuckin' bomb…

I turned my back and scowled at nothing in particular, "Fuck you, Cullen…you used to have a long ass tail…like that guy from New Kids on the Block…Jon, I think…"

He sighed exasperated, "Jon doesn't have a tail, you're thinking of Jordan…"

I turned and furrowed my brows, noticing that his cheeks were redder than mine, "Jordan? Are you sure? I thought he was the blonde…"

He rolled his eyes, "No, Joey Joe is the blonde…dirty blonde curls and blue eyes…"

I raised an eyebrow cuz he seemed to kinda sigh that like a twelve year old girl.

A moment later, the classic Cullen scowl was in place and he mumbled as he walked inside, "Fucking asshole."

Well, fucking with Cullen made my day a little better. I just hoped he'd get whatever the hell he came here for and get the fuck out…

I finished my smoke and salting the sidewalk, before heading back inside. Cullen hadn't come back out yet so I figured he placed some big ass order knowing that only me and Maria were working…prick.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the stupid yellow and red hat sitting on top of greasy copper hair.

Maria smiled, "Oh, Jasper…this is Edward Cullen, the new trainee. I think you boys go to the same school, yes?"

I shrugged, "Don't know, never seen him…"

Cullen just rolled his eyes again and pulled his apron on as he muttered.

Edward fucking Cullen. The fucker drove me crazy. I had known him from the time we were five years old and I disliked him back then. Me, mama, and Rose moved up here from Texas after grandma passed away. It was really hard for me here…I had a stupid southern accent and I practically had a 'fro cuz my curls were so crazy and I was dirt, fuckin' poor.

Most of the kids in Forks weren't terribly wealthy but only a handful were trailer park kids. It was easy for Rose because she was really cute and mean as hell all at the same time. All it took for her to make friends was to beat the shit out of Tyler Crowley at recess for making fun of her new jelly shoes. After that, all the girls loved Rosie cuz she was so tough and didn't take anyone's shit. The guys thought she was a mean bitch but as she got older and started filling out, they were able to look past that.

Cullen was in my first, third, and sixth grade classes. He used to always dress preppy before the start of our freshman year. He was the kid who always had the right answers and held up his hand a lot…but he also had a Nintendo and every game they made for it…or so I heard.

He hung out with Mike Newton and crew…probably all sitting around, listening to Nirvana talking about how hard their rich little preppy lives are, when they probably ain't ever worked a day in their spoiled pathetic lives.

Which made me wonder…why the fuck is Edward Cullen working at Dairy Queen?

Maria just smiled, "Okay great! Well, I have to head home…Jasper, if you need anything, just call me. Have a good night, boys!"

I groaned and stomped past him, "Look, Cullen…just stay the fuck outta my way and things will be fine."

He huffed, "Who the hell left you in charge?"

I turned back and stalked up to him, I was taller by a few inches so I peered down over top those stupid glasses…only I couldn't seem to speak when I saw how green his eyes were…it was like the kind bud I saw in that High Times magazine.

I caught my breath and ended up whispering, "I've got seniority so…fuck off…"

He rolled his eyes, finally breaking that damn contact high they had me on…

_Stupid, bright green pot eyes…_

"Seniority? Seriously, you've been here, what, three months? It can't be much longer than that because your birthday was just in October and you can't work here before you're fifteen…"

How the hell did he know when my birthday was? Well, I guess everybody knew that kind of shit…I mean, I knew his was December 4th.

I smirked, "Well, look at that, Cullen…I've got seniority _and _I'm older than you so respect your fuckin' elders and go mop the fuckin' bathroom or some shit. I'm gonna go take a smoke break."

I turned and walked out the back door. I took a deep breath and tried to get those damn eyes outta my head. I took a few hits from my one hitter and managed to make it through the rest of the night without speaking hardly at all to Sir McDouche A Lot or getting caught in his freaky, ganja green eyed death hold. He would scowl and mutter under his breath as I put his ass to work and maintained a role as supervisor.

It was kinda nice…watching the rich boy bust his ass for a change.

It was 9:30 by the time we locked up and it was cold as shit outside. Mama was waiting on me so I quickly jumped in the warm truck and started warming my hands up on the vents.

Mama sighed, "Oh dear, is that young boy riding a bike home in this weather?"

I looked to see Cullen struggling to get the damn bike going, apparently too windy and icy to get much traction.

I shrugged, "Eh…he's tough…"

Mama chided me, "Jasper…I raised you better than that, now get on out there and give that poor boy a hand puttin' his bike in the back…we'll drive him home."

I whined, "But mama…"

"Do I have to get ugly, son? You know how I hate to get ugly."

I cringed, "No, mama…I'm going."

I jumped outta the truck and pulled my hat down low. I walked over to Cullen who looked up at me through narrowed eyes.

I huffed, "Look, fucker, you want a ride or not?"

He looked over at the truck and back at me, his glasses were fogged up by the cold, "Did your mother make you ask me?"

I threw my hands up, I was a little dramatic sometimes, "Of course she fuckin' did…I could care less if you drift into a snow bank and they don't find your pretty ass till next spring…"

_Whoa! Did I just seriously call his ass pretty? _

_Fuck, I'm still high…_

His head dropped down and he kicked some ice off his chains, "Tell your mom I said thank you but I'll be fine."

And he grabbed his bike and hopped on it, throwing his stupid scarf around his neck and taking off.

I just scowled and quickly hopped back in the truck, "He said thanks but no thanks, mama, so can we just go now?"

She sighed, "Well…I reckon if he won't come…I would just feel so awful if something happened to him and I didn't do nothin' to stop it…"

I crossed my arms and tried to glare out the window, but all I saw was Cullen hitting some black ice and crashing to the ground.

I jumped up and muttered curse words lowly so mama didn't hear as I got out of the truck and made my way over to him. I held out my hand and he looked up at me through those foggy glasses. Then he took them off and those crazy, chronic eyes glared into mine. I gulped and briefly wondered if I should buy that shit from Peter anymore, cuz I swear my dick just jumped and that shit just ain't right…

"Come on, Cullen…you can't ride home in this shit…it's like a fuckin' blizzard out here, man…"

He continued to scowl until a strong wind gust blew through and he shivered as he grabbed my hand. I felt a surge of strong, blazing heat course up my arm giving me one of the most intense kind of highs I ever had…

_Yeah, I should definitely still buy from Peter…_

I had a brief vision of Cullen in a bright green jumpsuit and a purple cape…he was Chronic Man and he had the power to fuck you up with just one look…

_No! Fuck, no! Peter's shit is too strong…I'm going back to Charlotte…I should really introduce them…they'd make a cute couple…and they could build, like, a little mini ghetto pot empire…and maybe when I was broke and needed a fucking joint, I could use the 'I introduced you fuckers!' card and…_

I was brought too by snapping in my face, "Whitlock? What the hell's wrong with you?"

I closed my eyes for just a second and shook my head, "Nothing, why?"

He looked at me curiously before running a hand through his bronze hair, "Can you just help me get my bike in the truck?"

Then I felt the wind again and shivered as I grabbed his bike and we headed back to the truck. I threw it in back and jumped in the cab, next to mama, and he squeezed in next to me.

The whole side of his body was mashed into mine in the small cab. He turned and smiled at my mama, "That was very nice of you, Ms. Whitlock, so thank you."

_Why the hell's he being nice to my mama? He's an asshole…fucker. Heh Heh, I said asshole fucker…I hope I don't smell like pot…_

I leaned down to sniff my coat but the truck hit a pothole and I ended up with my face on his shoulder as I accidentally took a big breath.

_Fuck, he smells good…I thought he'd smell like ass but he smells like firewood and evergreen trees and fuck, it made me feel all warm and shit…_

I lifted my head and could feel the fire moving up to my cheeks as he looked at me strangely and kinda chuckled…the asshole caught me sniffing him, so I felt I better redeem my fuckin' manhood.

I whispered, "You smell like ass, Cullen…you should really take a fuckin' shower."

The fucker had some sort of stupid crooked grin on his face as he leaned over and whispered, "Earlier you said my ass was precious and pretty…you better be careful, Whitlock, because I may soon start to wonder if you'd like to join me in that _fucking _shower I need so badly…"

I was aghast. Yeah, that's right, _fucking _aghast at the thought that this weird, hemp eyed bastard was fucking with me…

I started to say something when my mama stopped the truck, "Oh, honey, is anyone even here? That big ole house is awful dark…"

I looked up and could barely see Cullen's mini mansion, there wasn't a light on in the house.

He sighed, "Um, no ma'am. My father usually doesn't get home till after midnight and my mother is in Chicago for the next week, um…visiting her parents. But it's no big deal, I'm just going to take a _long_, _hot _shower and go to bed…so thanks again for the ride."

He smirked at me again and I scowled. He got out of the truck and was having trouble getting his bike, the short fucker he is…Mama nudged me and I begrudgingly got out and helped him.

I sat his bike down on the ground and he looked up at the house and sighed, "Thanks again for the ride…have a nice night, Jasper."

_He called me Jasper! The fuckin' nerve…_

"Fuck you, Cullen!"

He turned back and whispered with that stupid crooked grin, "Fuck you too, Whitlock."

I was fuming when I got back in the truck. I went home, took a shower, and went for another go at knocking one out cuz today had been a fucked up day and I needed to go out on a positive note. It didn't take long as I closed my eyes and thought of the way it felt to have someone so close against my body, the heat, the scent, the high…

_I did __**not **__think about his insane pot leaf green eyes or that stupid grin…I didn't even think of his fucked up hair that resembled the color of a dirty penny…a dirty penny badly in need of a long, hot shower…fuck…don't think about Edward cuz that would be gay and jerking off to feelings and scents is gender neutral…fuck, I just thought his name, his real fuckin' name…shit, don't say it loud…_

"Ah fuck, Ed…McMahon…"

_Yeah, Jazz…that made the whole thing __**much **__better…_

Once the walk of shame to my bedroom was complete, I picked up the phone and dialed quickly, "Hey, um, Charlotte…it's Jazz…can I stop by tomorrow after school for the usual?"

_Fuck Peter and this chronic bullshit…the whole day had been one bad fuckin' trip…_


	2. Sophomore Year

_**Aww…you guys liked poor Stonersper. Thanks so much for reading and I really appreciate all the favorites, alerts, and reviews. You guys are like my personal brand of marijuana…heh heh…um…what…never mind...enjoy!**_

_**Space Cowboy by Steve Miller Band, Come Undone (The Sweater Song) by Weezer, Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins, Nothin' But A G-Thang by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg**_

**Forks High School - Sophomore Lunch Period - December 4, 1993**

Have you ever seen The Twilight Zone? When I was a kid, I used to stay up late and watch that shit…well, my life for the past year was something reminiscent of a bad Twilight Zone episode.

I tried switching to Charlotte's stuff but the effects of being too close to Cullen and those fucked up eyes remained strong. I was getting desperate a few weeks into our new working relationship and gave up pot all together…it was the worst fuckin' weekend of my whole life.

I came to the scientific conclusion, that Edward…I mean, _Cullen_, had rolled around in radioactive pot laced nuclear waste as a child, resulting in the freaky but somewhat cool superpower of making me feel all fucked up with just one look from those pretty hydro eyes.

I also came to the less than scientific conclusion, that thinking about Cullen in the shower _was _actually pretty gay…and therefore, so was I. Actually, I did go about the whole thing somewhat scientifically. First, I talked Peter into loaning me a few of his dirty movies, then I locked myself in my bedroom one afternoon while mama was working and Rose was off with some steroid loving super jock, I armed myself with a brand new bottle of lotion and box of tissues, lastly, I spent the rest of the afternoon getting stoned and finally jerking off to a picture of Johhny Depp in my mama's Star Magazine…so, yep, scientifically speaking, I was pretty fuckin' gay.

Anyway, for whatever reason, the fucker…and by fucker I mean Cullen, was still working at the damn Dairy Queen. We hadn't worked alone together again since his first night but I found myself paying a lot more attention to him than was reasonably normal. We gave him a ride home almost every night during the winter. We would speak to each only when absolutely necessary.

I didn't understand why that was bothering me so much…

But with my self denied stalking, I realized a few things…Cullen wasn't really friends with Newton and crew. They talked to him some and he usually sat with them, but most the time, he was sitting there reading or writing in his journal. I hated to admit it, but his situation kinda reminded me of mine. Except, he hung with the preps and I hung with the hoods. He was rich and I was…not. Yet, it seemed like I was a way happier person than he was. Well, maybe not to him cuz I wasn't really very nice to him.

Okay, I was an asshole…but in all fairness, he was too.

I huffed and threw another sideways glance at him in the cafeteria. Today was his sixteenth birthday. I hadn't seen one person tell him Happy Birthday. At least, on my birthday, Peter gave me a dime bag of hydro. That was pretty sweet. And mama always made a big deal out of it.

I was surprised that evening when I went to work to find Cullen there. He wasn't scheduled that night.

I raised an eyebrow as he tied his apron on and mumbled, "Um, Maria called in sick so they called me…"

I started pulling off my coat and tried not to pay attention to the way his ass looked in those stupid polyester uniform pants…but that fucker was just calling to me.

_Maybe if I'm not an asshole…_

I cleared my throat and looked away, "Uh…you could've told them no, y'know…I'm sure you had better plans, it being your birthday and all…by the way, um…happy birthday, Cullen."

He was quiet for a moment and I figured he was trying to come up with some fucktastic insult. So, I turned around fully ready to yell, 'Syke!'

But he was standing there looking at me with that crooked grin and pink cheeks, "Thanks, Whitlock…and um, I didn't have anything better to do tonight."

_Aww…he's really kinda cute…dude, I just called him cute…_

_Fuck, I'm still high_…

But then I felt kinda bad that he didn't have anything better to do than work on his birthday. I knew that mama always made me a special dinner for my birthday, even when no one else paid attention, she did. The same had to apply to his mama, right? They lived for that shit.

Although, all the times when we take him home…when we sit mushed in next to each other without saying one damn word, his parents were hardly ever at home.

I said it before thinking, "I'm sure at least your parents had some stupid little thing planned. You know how parents are all about that shit…especially for your sixteenth birthday…"

He shook his head and stared at the ground. The dark framed glasses fell to the tip of his nose and I could see those green reefer eyes looking so much sadder than any weed colored thing should ever look…

"My father left me a card with a one hundred dollar bill in it on the coffee table. My mother called when I got home from school…she had an emergency in Chicago and can't make it in until tomorrow night. She said she'd take me out clothes shopping on Sunday so I'll quit dressing like a hobo."

Call me a softy but that shit kinda broke my heart.

"Shit, dude…that's pretty fucked up…"

He shrugged and looked up at me with a different smile than the crooked one I had seen a few times…it was the fake smile I often saw him use around those assmongers at school.

I didn't like it.

"It's not that big of a deal…they're busy…"

I huffed, "Too busy for you? That's bullshit, Edward. Mama works two jobs and takes care of me and Rosie all on her own but she ain't never once forgot my birthday. Even when she can't afford to get me anything, she still always makes a special dinner and cake for me. That's their fuckin' jobs!"

Now the crooked grin came back as he smiled at me, "You're awfully worked up over it, Jasper. Your mom was right about you…a hurricane of emotion."

I hated that him and mama _did _actually talk quite a bit on these rides home.

Then he quickly added, "You're mom is really cool. You're very lucky."

I knew I was lucky. My mama was great. When I finally told her I was gay, she just smiled and said, "Yeah. How are you feelin', baby? Is there anything ya wanna talk about?"

We sat and talked for hours until the carton of cookie dough ice cream was gone and we both passed out on the couch.

Then there was that damn snapping again…

"Jasper? Jesus, where the hell do you go when you space out like that?"

I jumped a little and just smiled, "C'mon, Cul…Edward." I grabbed his arm and started pulling him back into the kitchen. I had missed the feeling of fire that came from touching him and the way it intensified my high. I mean, like seriously, I could save a ton of money on pot if he would just touch me every so often.

He laughed, "What are you doing?"

I smiled and pulled out a chair, "Sit your ass down…I'm gonna cook you a birthday dinner."

He smiled as he sat, "Ah…so no precious or pretty remarks about my ass tonight, huh?"

I blushed and turned away as I started up the fryers, "Fuck you, Cullen."

He laughed, "Fuck you too, Whitlock. So, you're really going to make me dinner?"

I shrugged as I dumped some onion rings in the grease, "Yeah…I mean, I'm hungry as fuck anyway so…"

He raised an eyebrow, "Won't we get in trouble for taking this food without paying for it?"

I rolled my eyes, "Dude? These fuckers pay us minimum wage and make us wear yellow and red uniforms…fuck 'em!"

He laughed and sat there quietly as he watched me make the food. When the burgers and onion rings were done, I grabbed our baskets and sat down across from him at the stupid card table…I mean, employee lounge table.

He smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen from him, "This is great, Jasper. Thanks."

I shrugged, "No, biggie. Check this shit out…I'm the Michael fuckin' Jordan of onion rings."

He laughed and we ate our food as we started talking a little bit about how stupid our place of employment was.

And I couldn't stop myself from blurting out, "Why the hell do you work at Dairy Queen, man? Your parents are loaded."

He was playing with the onion rings as he looked down and shrugged, "I don't really have anything better to do. My parents are usually gone and I don't really have any um…_real _friends."

"What about Newton?"

He laughed, "He's a fucking asshat, Jasper. I honestly only hang around any of them because my parents know their parents and it's, like, my parents back off a little if they think I'm friends with them. But, really they just like to hang around me because of the empty house, food, and video games. They're dickwads. So, I kind of starting working to avoid them too. What about you? Are you really friends with Felix? That guy is so annoying."

Now I laughed, "He's a total douche."

When we were done, Edward went out front to help some pregnant lady who was craving Rocky Road in the middle of winter.

I stepped into the storage closet and found some candles they used for the ice cream cakes they had. Then I went into the back freezer and grabbed a cake. I lit the candles and once we were alone again, I flipped off the lights.

Edward was standing at the cash register as he looked up at the darkened ceiling, "Hey Jasper! The electricity is out!"

_God, what if he thinks I'm, like, hitting on him or something? But I really fuckin' love these damn ice cream cakes…they're so delicious and I'm so fuckin' high right now…_

I blushed as I walked out, "Don't think too much about this, Edward...I just really fuckin' love these things."

He laughed and even in the dark I could see his cheeks darken. I sat the cake down on the counter and jumped up to sit down on it.

He sat across from me with the cake in between us and smiled, "So, if this is only because you wanted to eat it…then why did you put a candle in it?"

I shrugged, "Any reason to play with fire, dude."

_I think he bought it…_

He smiled shyly and looked down. It was strangely reminiscent of Sixteen Candles…Molly Ringwald was so fuckin' lucky cuz Jake Ryan was awesome.

"Jasper…this is like…the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

I smiled, "It's no big deal…"

He looked over top the cake and took off his glasses. The soft glow of the candles illuminated his face as he smiled, "I feel just like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles…"

_Whoa…it's like, he read my mind or something…_

I laughed, "Yeah maybe…but I'm more like Long Duck Dong than Jake Ryan."

He chuckled, "Long Duck Dong was awesome. Jake Ryan is overrated anyway…if I was Molly Ringwald, I would've totally went after Farmer Ted."

_Wait a second…is he saying that he's into dudes? Or was that just a general statement? Cuz I mean, that could go either way…right? There should be, like, a fuckin' manual for this shit! _

"Jasper? Are you listening?"

I snapped my eyes up to him, "Huh?"

He smiled, "I would love to be able to read your mind. Sometimes you just get this spaced out look."

I shrugged, "Mama thinks I have ADD…"

_Oh for the love of…Hi, I'm Jasper and I say stupid shit…_

Luckily he just ignored it and went on. We laughed and talked while we ate the cake…and it was really nice. We talked mostly about movies we liked. He was a fan of cheesy 80's movies, like me. We both loved the Star Wars movies and sci-fi. We both wanted to see the new Jurassic Park movie that just came out.

We cleaned up and spent the rest of the night talking about music and shit. Our tastes differed but we found common ground on some songs. Edward was actually a pretty cool guy once I got to know him.

Once the night was done, mama and me drove him home again. I had my learner's permit but still had a few weeks till I could get my license.

When we got to his house he turned and smiled at my mama, "Thanks for the ride, Lucy…"

_Oh, did I mention that they're on a first name basis?_

She smiled and handed him a small blue gift bag, "Happy Birthday, sweetie."

He took it slowly as if he were shocked. Then he just stared at it for a minute until he finally whispered, "You really didn't need to buy me anything."

Mama laughed, "Oh, it's nothin', Edward. And I didn't buy it, I made it. It's no big deal, I just thought you could use it."

He nodded and cautiously opened the bag. He reached in and pulled out a green and brown scarf.

_That fucker is ugly as shit…I bet he'll love it…_

He smiled as he ran his fingers over it and I wondered if he really was shocked…I mean, didn't anyone pay attention to him?

"I love it, Lucy. It's perfect."

She reached out and picked up an end of it and held it by his face, "I noticed you hadn't been wearin' yours for awhile…and I thought the that chocolate color would bring out your hair. It makes the bronze coppery color come out. And the green looks fantastic with your eyes. Doesn't it, Jasper?"

But I was already dazed as fuck again…staring into his hydro eyes…

"Fuckin' beautiful…"

_Holy shit! Did I really say that out loud? _

"Jasper! You gonna kiss your mama with that mouth?"

My face was on fire as I broke my stare and looked down, "Sorry, mama."

Edward chuckled a little and I just closed my eyes and kept my head down.

"Thank you, Lucy. I really love hand made gifts…I think they mean a lot more, ya know. By the way, how did you know it was my birthday today?"

Mama laughed, "Oh, Jasper was goin' on and on about it months ago for some reason."

_Shit! Mama fuckin narked on me! I was only talking about his birthday cuz I hoped he'd get a car and we wouldn't have to drive him no more…or maybe secretly hoping that he might start letting me drive him home when I get my license…but that's neither here nor there…_

I was certain I was gonna combust into flames at any moment…in fact, I was praying for it.

The fucker chuckled again, "This has been the best birthday so far…"

_Wait! Is he saying that it's the best birthday because he __**likes **__that I was going on and on about him and that I think his eyes are fuckin' beautiful? Does he __**like **__it cuz he __**likes **__me? Or does he like it cuz he can use it to fuck with me? Is he flirting with me back? Am I flirting? If I am…I'm doing a really bad job at it. Fuck…this shit is exhausting…I wish I had another ice cream cake…those things are fuckin' delicious…mmm…delicious…wait…was I thinking about an ice cream cake…or Edward?_

"Thank you again for the ride and the gift. Drive home safe. Bye Lucy. Bye Jasper."

I didn't say anything but felt a wave of icy air hit me when he opened the door. I welcomed the chill of the breeze over my overheated body.

As soon as he jumped out of the truck, mama sighed as she drove away, "Why aren't you and Edward friends?"

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes, "Jasper? You boys work together, you go to school together, and we give him a ride home all the time…but you two never speak to one another. Edward seems like a very nice boy. A hell of a lot better than those hooligans you hang out with…"

_Quick! Prepare a diversion tactic…_

I smiled, "Hooligans, mama? Really?

"Don't you sass me, young man."

_Abort mission_…

I dropped the smile, "Sorry, mama. Uh…we're kind of in different social groups. He hangs out with the preps…"

She huffed, "What the hell's a prep?"

I rolled my eyes now, "A prep's, like, a rich kid…y'know, preppy…someone who thinks they're better than everybody else."

She gave me a scowl, "Jasper Tobias Whitlock! Are you judging that poor boy cuz his parents have money? That's just wrong, son. That's just as bad as someone not wanting to be friends with you cuz we don't have a lot of money. That just ain't right, baby. Now, he seems like a genuinely nice boy."

I shrugged as I thought about it…he really was a nice guy. He could still be an asshole when he wanted to be…but if I wasn't being mean to him, he wasn't being mean to me.

She reached over and pulled my chin up with a smile, "You like him, huh?"

I gasped, "What are you smoking on, mama? That's just…crazy talk! I most definitely, one hundred and ten, _no_, one hundred and eighty nine point two percent, do **not **like him! That's, like, not even in the realm of reality! That's not even in the realm of an alternate reality!"

She smirked and rolled her eyes, "Whatever…"

_Now I see where Rosie gets it from…_

Then she laughed, "So, what's the name of the group you're in? The hools?"

I chuckled, "No, mama…hoods."

She smirked at me again, "Same difference, son."

When we got home, she headed to bed and I thought about what she had said. I opened my bedroom window and pulled out the blunt roach I had from earlier and blazed it up. I blew the smoke out the window and finished it off. I'd have to re-cop in the morning…

_I can't believe mama thought I liked Cullen…that's just hilarious. Me…like Edward…yeah right…I mean, just cuz he has the most beautiful ganja eyes I've ever seen…and he smiles all crooked and shit…and he kinda keeps me on a perpetual high…and I just wanna grab handfuls of that dirty copper hair and…_

_Fuck I'm high…_

I groaned and walked out to the kitchen. I has cotton mouth like a mofo so I grabbed an orange Faygo from the fridge and plopped down at the table.

_Friends? Hmm…could I be friends with someone like him? Would he even wanna be friends with me? It's not like I can just go up to him and say, 'Yo, what's up, Edward? Ya wanna go blaze outside behind the dumpster?'_

_Fuck…I'm being such a fuckin' girl…_

_I should just forget the whole thing…it's stupid…but…_

I huffed and walked into the living room...but made a quick pit stop to grab the bowl of grapes out of the fridge. I fell onto the couch and flipped on the TV. I tried to just stop thinking as I watched In Living Color. I threw my feet up on the coffee table and put the bowl of grapes on my stomach so I didn't have to move so far.

"Homey D. Clown…don't mess around…"

_Fuck, I'm bored…let's see what else is on…License to Drive…fuckin' awesome…_

_Les Anderson wasn't a pussy…I could be like that…just borrow my mama's truck for the night…maybe drive to Seattle and see Jurassic Park…I could do that…I could totally do that…maybe I could invite Cullen…_

I called the movie theaters in Seattle to see if Jurassic Park had a late show anywhere.

At around 10:30, mama fell asleep and I knew she didn't need to be at work until 10:00 the next morning. So, in full on Corey Haim mode…I borrowed the truck.

As I parked down the street, I sat there for a minute and closed my eyes.

_What the hell am I doing? Do guy friends even go to a movie together? Is that acceptable boy friend behavior? Wait, I don't mean __**boy **__friend…I mean a friend who's a boy…y'know…a dude friend…that's cool, right?_

I huffed and got out of the truck and was soon walking up to Cullen's, there was only one light in the house so I figured it must be his room. I walked around to the side of the house and couldn't find any pebbles so I fished around in my pocket and found a bag of gummy bears.

_Incoming!_

I started biting the heads off and launching them at his window.

A few seconds later, the window flew open and Edward poked his head out. Unfortunately, I had already launched a few more gummy bears and I saw his hands fly to his eyes as he yelled, "Jasper? What are you doing? Are these gummy bears? Wait? Why are they decapitated?"

I looked at the ground and shoved my hands in my pocket, suddenly kinda embarrassed, "Um…yeah, y'know…um…you never know about those gummy bears…I mean, they may look all sweet and shit but…um…I'm not doing anything…what are you doing?"

_God, that was stupid…_

I looked up, "Um, I mean, I found a late show for Jurassic Park and I was gonna go so I thought maybe, um, you could go too if you wanted but if you don't, that's cool, y'know, I mean, I don't really care or anything…"

"Jasper! I can't really hear you, you're mumbling…come to the front door, okay?"

I nodded and walked around to the front.

_Hold it together, Jasper! _

A minute later it opened, and for the love of all that is holy…

_Green flannel pajama pants…that's all he's wearing…wow, he has abs…they're kinda nice…strong pecs…Jesus, Mary, and Joseph…he has a V…God, almighty the boy has a V…and look…he has a happy trail…wow…the carpet totally matches the drapes…excellent…_

"Jasper…did you come here to ogle me all night or was there something you wanted to ask me?"

He was leaning against the doorway with that stupid, cute crooked grin but I was already dazed and confused as I slowly lifted my eyes and cleared my throat, "Oh, um…did you start working out?"

_Motherfuckin' son of a whore…I said that out loud…_

He chuckled a little, the fucker, and smiled, "Actually, I spent the summer swimming laps and jogging…I haven't gotten, like, really muscular or anything but do you think it helped?"

Then he proceeded to turn in a full circle and I saw his junk bounce as he turned…

_Okay, Jasper…is he fuckin' with you to be an asshole cuz he knows you're gay somehow…or is he flirting with you cuz he's gay and thinks you're cute too…_

It was then that I realized…

_What the fuck? I __**do **__like Cul…I mean, Edward…_

And now I was _really _fuckin' embarrassed.

I shoved my hands in my pocket and turned, praying he wouldn't see little Jasper standing at full attention and saying, 'Greetings.'

"Uh…so I saw that Jurassic Park is playing in Seattle tonight…a, um…late show and I thought maybe you might wanna go…if not, it's no skin off my back or anything…"

I heard him sigh, "Are _you _asking me or did your mother make you ask me?"

I turned and furrowed my brows, "Mama's not with me, I, um…kinda took the truck…"

He broke out into a full grin and chuckled, "You don't have a license…were you watching License to Drive too?"

I huffed as my cheeks burned and my cock ached, "Look, fucker, I'm asking you…do ya wanna go or not?"

He chuckled a little and looked down, "Yes, I want to go. Give me a few minutes, okay?"

I turned, "Sure, dude, I'm parked down the street. I didn't know if your parents were gonna be home…"

"Okay, Jasper…I'll be there in a minute."

I quickly went down and hopped in the truck to get it warmed up before he got there.

A few minutes later, he hopped in and we took off. I pulled out my last hydro blunt and handed it to him, "It's still your birthday so…"

He smiled as he looked at it, "Jasper? We're going to be ripped!"

Then he pulled a joint out of his pocket and I laughed, "You smoke?"

He nodded as he fished around in his pocket for a lighter, "What do you think I spent that hundred bucks my father gave me on?"

_Friends my ass…we were gonna be best buds forever and ever…BBF's…_

I took the lighter and smiled, "Take the wheel a sec…"

He leaned over and grabbed the wheel, all close to my body and shit…I lit the blunt and took a hit before I passed it to him and took the wheel back. He took a drag and immediately started a coughing fit.

The drive to Seattle flew by as we smoked and talked and listened to each other's music. We'd take turns playing songs. It was my turn and I had been playing a bunch of rap that he didn't really care for so I pulled out my Steve Miller Band cassette.

He laughed, "I've heard this song before…"

Then we both started singing along, "I'm a picker, I'm a grinner, I'm a lover and I'm a sinner…I play my music in the sun…I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker…I get my lovin' on the run…"

When the song ended, he flipped through the stations until he found a song. I smiled, "I know this one…"

"If you want to destroy my sweater…pull this thread as I walk away…watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked…lying on the floor, I come undone…"

He laughed as I banged my head and sang the song all dramatically and shit so he would think it was funny…and I was really fucking high. He smiled, "Why don't you ever take off your hat, Jasper?"

I shrugged, "It's just easier…I can't quite figure out what to do about these stupid curls so…"

Before I could stop him, he reached over and yanked my knit cap off. His breathing caught as he whispered to himself, "Dirty blonde curls…"

I tried to grab my hat back, "Hey fucker…"

He smiled as he threw it up on the dash, "Just give me a second…"

He rolled down his window and stuck his hands outside as the snow came down. I furrowed my brows, "What the fuck are you doing, Cullen?"

He brought his wet hands back inside and I jumped when he scooted over and began running them through my hair…and holy fuck that felt good so I just kept my mouth shut.

He twirled the curls around his finger for a minute before finally removing his hands and leaning back, "See…much better. I'm sure Rosalie has some gel or something…you should use a little…not a whole lot but a little would tame those curls. Your hair looks really good right now."

I could feel my cheeks heating up as I concentrated on the road and not on the way he was looking at me, "Uh…thanks."

My turn came and I started switching the station when I heard, "Damn, I wish I was your lover…"

_Damn, I hoped Dylan chooses Kelly…I fuckin' can't stand Brenda…she's such a snotty bitch…Brandon's kinda cute though…twins my ass…_

"Jasper? Where did you go?"

I was brought to by hydro eyes and a faint snapping. "Oh…um…I wasn't thinking about Beverly Hills 90210 or anything gay like that…"

_Mother lovin' son of a cock whore…_

He laughed, "I hope Dylan chooses Kelly, Brenda is a psychotic bitch…and what's up with Donna? I mean, am I the only guy in the world who thinks that is one fugly looking chick?"

_Freaky mind reading shit again…_

I smiled, "All I can say is, it must be nice to be the spawn of the Spelling family fortune."

He looked out the window and sighed, "Money isn't everything, Jasper."

I snorted, probably not the coolest thing to do but it happened, "That's easy to say when you have a ton of it at your disposal."

"I'd switch places with you any day."

I wanted to ask him about his parents but didn't wanna ruin our buzzes so instead, I brought up Trading Places with Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroyd. That brought a smile to his face and the sullen mood was gone again.

I popped in my Chronic cassette and was laughing my ass off as Edward rapped with me, "Ain't nothin' but a G thang, baby…two loc'ed out G's goin' crazy…def row is the label that pays me…unfadable so please don't try to fade me…"

When we got to the theater, we bought our tickets and he insisted on buying us some popcorn and candy cuz I only had $20 bucks left for gas and we both had a case of the serious munchies.

In the dark theater, we slipped down in our seats and talked through the whole thing. It was stupid stuff mostly, like how I thought something like Jurassic Park could totally happen and he argued that it was completely implausible…it was a good thing the theater was relatively empty.

I _didn't _talk about the way I would purposely keep my hand in the popcorn bucket longer than I really needed to so I could feel his fingers brush mine when he grabbed some…I _didn't _talk about the way he left his knee against mine half way through the movie and how warm it made me feel…I _didn't _talk about how it was taking every bit of self control I had, _not _to lean over and kiss him.

When the movie was over, we made our way back home and finished the blunt on the way.

"Edward, all I'm saying is that freaky shit happens all the time…"

He laughed, "Okay, I agree that freaky shit happens, Jasper, but do you seriously think that we're going to find a living dinosaur on some island or that the government is in their labs creating a new species from DNA off a really fucking old fly?"

I rolled my eyes, "I never said an island…I said the ocean, fucker. Seriously, dude…think about it, we've only explored, like, ten percent of the world's oceans…and the government is always keeping shit from us…area 51...UFO's…I'm just saying…"

He shook his head and laughed more than I had ever seen him laugh, "You are absolutely ridiculous…how can you possibly believe any of that nonsense, Jasper? Have you ever seen a UFO? A dinosaur? I believe in things that can be proven…"

I furrowed my brows as I pulled over on the street down from his house, "Haven't you ever just felt something, Edward? Something so strong in the pit of your stomach that you just knew it was real…even if you didn't have any proof of it?"

He sat there quiet for a minute before he pulled off his glasses and laid them on the dashboard. Then he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke softly, "Um…can I ask you something?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

He looked up at me and there it was again, that burning through my body from the gaze of those pretty kush eyes.

"Um…just…please don't hit me, okay?"

I furrowed my brows as I asked, "Why would I h…"

Then the heat blew up into a fuckin' inferno as his lips pressed against mine. I was caught off guard and I didn't even have time to react before it was over.

My eyes snapped open just in time to see him grabbing the door handle, "I'm sorry, Jasper…I don't…um…"

I reached out and grabbed his wrist and he looked like he thought I was gonna hit him. He scrunched his nose and closed his eyes.

I had no idea what I was doing but I managed a breathless, "Wait!"

He opened his eyes cautiously and I pulled back my arm and ran my hand through my hair, "Uh…why did you…um…why did you do that?"

Was he fucking with me? Did he like me? Was he gonna go and tell everyone I was gay?

My mind raced as his breathing accelerated and he cleared his throat, "I…uh…I don't know."

I wanted a chance to kiss him again…I mean, _really _kiss him. He probably thought I was really bad at it, which in all actuality, I probably was but I at least wanted a chance to try and kiss him right. I closed my eyes and whispered, "Do you…uh…you didn't really give me a chance to…um…do it right."

I heard his shaky voice as he quietly responded, "Do you want to try it again?"

I took a deep breath and nodded as I squeezed my eyes shut. My body must've been hypersensitive or something because I could feel his presence before he was even touching me. A moment later, I heard the swish of him sliding over next to me on the leather seat. Then I felt the warmth of his body next to mine…his cold hands sliding down my jaw and to my chin, lifting my face up to his…his warm shaky breath as his lips came closer to mine…and then his lips pressed to mine again.

I shuddered as my fingers reached out and gripped the steering wheel. I had to keep myself grounded to something cuz I felt like I might just float away from all the damn butterflies in my stomach.

His lips puckered gently once and then again. He started to pull away and instinctively I pushed my lips back, not wanting it to be over yet but I didn't know what to do. I was just trying to not hurl cuz I was high and hypersensitive and paranoid and excited and happy and scared…

He laughed gently against my lips and whispered, "A hurricane of emotion…"

Then he slowly pulled away. I could barely breathe, my heart was racing so fast.

_My heart's beating too fast...I smoked too much...I'm too high...fuck...I'm just being paranoid...chill the fuck out, man!_

I saw him grinning at me all lopsided and shit. I dropped my eyes and could feel my cheeks burning.

He chuckled again, "Thanks, Jasper…this was the best birthday I've ever had."

I looked up for just a second but just looking at _him _looking at _me _all happy and flushed was too much and I dropped my eyes, "Yeah…me too."

_Me too? I am a certified dipshit…_

He opened the truck and got out. Then he tapped the window and I rolled it down.

He ran his hand through his hair, "I…um…I forgot my glasses."

I grabbed them from the dash and handed them to him. He took them and sighed, "Hey Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I…um…you're right…I mean, dinosaurs could totally live in the ocean. Be careful going home. I'll see you later."

I smiled at the thought of seeing him again, "See you later, Edward."

I sat there for a minute and watched him walk up his driveway. Once he disappeared, I slumped in the seat and let out a big breath.

_God, could I have been any more of a dork? But then again…he kissed me. __**He **__kissed __**me**__. I rock…_

I licked my bottom lip and smiled…

_Pot…buttery popcorn…and Edward…a stoner's wet dream…_

I went home and managed to get in bed about a half hour before mama woke up. I didn't need to get high before I went to sleep…I was still reeling from my first kiss and passed out easily with a feeling of hope...

_Shit...I hope the truck don't smell like pot..._

And still a little paranoia.


	3. Junior Year

**Sorry it took me so long to update, guys…it might take a minute again but I will finish the story. I created a play list for this chapter in my you tube. Link is in my profile. Oh and thanks to those who pointed out that Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover was sung by Sophie B. Hawkins...I may or may not have been a little stoned when I wrote that it was sung by Paula Cole. Enjoy!**

**This is for those of you old enough to remember that Johnny Depp played in a little series called 21 Jumpstreet...all of you who are younger...quick...Justin Bieber's on the TV! Now, that the toddlers have left the room, let's go on with the story, shall we?**

**Glycerine by Bush, Dreams by The Cranberries, Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, Sabotage by Beastie Boys, I'd Die Without You by PM Dawn, I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred, I Swear by All 4 One, Loving You by Minnie Riperton**

**Dairy Queen - Night of the Junior Prom - May 15, 1995**

Do you remember how you felt at the end of My So Called Life? When they ended the season so abruptly with so many questions floating around like did Rayann and Angela ever become friends again? Did Angela forgive Jordan Cantalano? Did Brian ever score?

Well, my friends, that is the story of my so called life. Edward had hardly spoken two words to me since that night our sophomore year. I had no fuckin' answers what-so-ever. We never worked alone together and when I saw him at school, we were always surrounded by our fake friends. So, other than the occasional work-related conversation, we didn't speak.

I tried once at the end of last year to speak to him at school. That was a fucking disaster.

I was getting desperate to know where we stood. Was he just experimenting with me or something? If he was, then that's pretty fucked up cuz I actually liked Cullen…the fuckin' douche bag.

_It was lunch time and I saw him sitting with his friends, reading as usual while they all acted like retards. So, I mustered up every bit of courage I had and threw my backpack over my shoulder. Then I got up and slowly walked over._

_I stopped behind him and cleared my throat before I spoke quietly, "Hey…um…Edward?"_

_He turned and looked at me in total shock as he pulled his glasses down and started to say something when Newton jumped in, "Get lost trailer trash!"_

_I turned red as everyone started laughing. Edward just turned away and started reading again._

I was embarrassed and hurt cuz he should've stood up for me. I would've stood up for him against my friends…probably.

So, my life seriously sucked ass right now.

Tonight was Junior Prom and I had heard that he was taking Bella Swan. I hated that bitch worse than Brenda. She was mousy and annoying as fuck…I had no idea why he liked her. Not to mention…she had a fuckin' vagina! What was up with that shit?

That pretty much solidified it to me that I was just an experiment to him.

I took a few hits from my one hitter before stepping back inside. Maria had up and quit this morning. She had been going to some alternative school to get a medical assistants degree and I guess she was going to Texas cuz she landed a job working in a pediatric hospital.

_Fuck…the thought of all them crazy ass newborns made me shudder a little… _

So, I was on my own tonight. I heard the bell chime from the front door so I quickly ran inside. I glared when I saw Cullen.

He shrugged, "Aro called…said Maria quit and you were working alone tonight so…"

He grabbed his apron and I rolled my eyes, "Go home, Cullen…I don't need your fuckin' help. I'm sure Bella's all dolled up for you."

He cringed, "I can't stand that twit…"

I furrowed my brows, "So, why'd you ask her to the prom?"

He looked up at me and I noticed, he wasn't wearing his glasses, "I didn't ask her. My father set it up without my knowledge. Believe me, I would never have agreed to go to the prom with Bella Swan, of all people. My father didn't give me much of a choice. I was relieved when Aro called."

That still didn't make me feel much better. I sighed as I brushed past him and walked out to the front, "Well, I don't need your help so you can leave."

He followed me out, "Jasper? I'm sorry about what happened…"

I was pissed as hell at this point. Mama always said that I was an emotional force to be reckoned with.

"Ya know what? I'm sorry it happened too, Cullen! I'm sorry I was stupid enough to take you to the fuckin' movie for your birthday! I'm sorry that I thought we could actually be friends! I'm sorry that I wasted my first fuckin' kiss on you! I shared my last fuckin' hydro blunt with you, man! And Peter can't even get that shit no more cuz it was a rare strain from his brother in law in Jamaica who's spending eight years in a Mexican prison right now! That's a long fuckin' story and it doesn't even matter cuz it didn't work as well on it's own anyway! You're like the best fuckin' high I've ever had and I thought it was the hydro but it wasn't! It was you and your stupid pot green eyes…"

"Jasper? Breathe, dude!"

I was brought out of my bitch fest by his arms gripping my shoulders, "I didn't mean that I was sorry about what happened that night! I'm sorry about what happened in the cafeteria last year! I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you! You're the only real friend I have and I'm so fucking sorry I hurt you!"

I pulled away from him and took a minute to calm myself down.

He came up behind me and whispered, "Can we just talk, please?"

I nodded and jumped up on the counter. He sat beside me and we just started talking…but not about stupid shit this time. We talked about our families and what we wanted to do after high school.

I found out that he hadn't come out to his mom or dad cuz he knew they would react badly. They were very conservative people…even though his mother had been having an affair with a guy in Chicago for the past two years and his dad had begun having affairs with the various nurses he worked with…they still totally believed in the Christian view of homosexuality as a sin.

Nice.

"My father wants me to go to Stanford, his alma mater. But…I really just want to take some time off and just…drive, ya know? I want some time where I can do exactly what I want to do and be exactly who I want to be. I just want to be my own for a little while before I subscribe to the tired notion of becoming a doctor like my father. I don't even think I want to be a doctor. I have no fucking idea what I want to be…I probably never will. What about you? What are you doing after graduation?"

I took a breath and scratched the back of my head, "Um…well…I've always had this dream of…ya know what, never mind…it sounds really stupid to say it out loud."

He furrowed his brows for a moment then smiled, "Come on…let's go smoke."

We walked out back and he pulled out a joint. We took a few hits and he choked out, "Okay…now what's your dream, Jasper? You have to tell me now…you have to tell the truth when you're smoking…"

Then he said in his best Miss Cleo voice, "Eet's like an unspoken oat to de marijuana gods dat ya speak da truth, mon…"

I fuckin' choked so damn hard I almost threw up cuz that shit was funny.

He was howling too and then it gradually died down and we stood there, holding our bellies from laughin' so hard. He smiled softly as he leaned against the brick wall. I was momentarily stunned as I watched him. His green eyes were bright against his olive skin and I couldn't help but notice the random auburn lashes that mixed in with dark ones…it reminded me of those wonderful little red hairs you'd find in kush or 'dro.

Underneath this stupid little red 'exit' sign on the back door, Edward looked magnificent.

He shoved his hands in his pocket, "Um…Jasper?"

I looked down at his long legs and I loved the way his black Converse totally went against the polyester pants.

I raised my eyes back up to his and noticed that without the glasses, his eyes almost shone like the neon ooze from Ghostbusters.

I smiled, "Hmm?"

He raised the corner of his mouth into that fuckin' awesome crooked grin, "Um…you've been staring at me with your mouth slightly hanging open for, like, five minutes now…"

I just smiled like the stoned mother fucker I was, "That's not my fault, Edward. You're so god damn hot. It's like…like, you're my own personal brand of marijuana, ya know? Like, how they make different strains and shit…well, I only feel this fuckin' high when I'm with you…it's like…I don't know…wait…what the hell was I sayin'?"

He started laughing, "I have no fucking clue, Jasper."

Then I started laughing for no fuckin' reason whatsoever.

A minute later he sighs and smiles at me with a beautiful blush on his alabaster cheeks, "I think you're hot too, Jasper…but let's stay focused. I'd like a chance to get to know you better. So, please tell me what you dream about?"

Without a second's hesitation, I grinned, "You. I dream about you."

_Fuck, I'm high…_

He smiled widely as he drug his pretty scarlet bottom lip between his teeth and blushed even more.

_Hells yeah, mutha fucka! Stay cool, Jas…stay cool…you can do this…you can be smooth…think…John Cusack…_

_Wait? What the hell am I doing? I can't do this shit! I'm gonna spas out any fuckin' second! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! _

_Now is not the time for paranoia! _

_You can do this…eye of the mother fuckin' tiger! _

I took his hand in mine and smiled at the intense rush of heat that coursed throughout me.

"Do you feel that, Edward? Am I just really fuckin' high or does that shit feel like…cosmic and fuckin'…earth shattering?"

He let go of that bottom lip and it was swollen and dark red and I wanted so badly to run my tongue over it…

"Jasper? You said that I was your first kiss…have you had your second yet?"

I felt the air leave my lungs as I shook my head. He smiled and leaned a little closer as he whispered, "May I be your second, as well?"

My whole body burst into a million little goose bumps as I nodded slowly.

My eyes fluttered closed as he inched closer and then his lips touched mine.

_Inferno…_

His lips were so hot against my own and I instantly just melted into him. My hand reached up and got lost in the silky copper strands of hair that I had dreamt about for the last fuckin' year.

He moaned against my lips and slid his tongue across my top lip. I opened up and let him in. I returned his moan at the taste of Edward, pot, and onion rings…

_I know it don't sound all that great but trust me…milk's got it all wrong…this shit does a mother fuckin' body good…_

His long fingers slid into the curls at the back of my neck. His other hand slid around my waist and pulled me closer. My eyes went wide and I gasped when I felt his hardness rub against mine through the thin polyester of our pants.

He took the opportunity and pulled my head to the side by my curls and attached his lips to my neck. Immediately, I became hopelessly dazed but much less confused.

Tentatively, I moved my hips and brushed my length against his again. He growled against my neck and pushed me against the wall as he grinded his self against me. I moaned breathlessly into the night time air, "Oh God, Edward…"

His lips crashed back into mine and fire consumed me from the inside out. I had waited seventeen long years for someone other than me to notice my cock. That mother fucker was happy as fuck too cuz he shamelessly rubbed against Edward's cock, like they had been best buds their whole damn life.

The fire within me grew as my toes started to curl and my head laid back against the wall, heavy but floating all at the same time. My eyes opened at the sound of my name being moaned softly against my ear.

"Oh…Ja…Jas…perrrr…"

_Holy fuck he purred! I made the boy purr! I am the mutha fuckin' shiznit! I wonder if he'd purr on the words, 'harderrrr' or 'fasterrrr'? _

His hand gripped the bottom of my work shirt and clenched the material between his fingers as his hips stilled. He pulled away and smiled as he breathlessly whispered, "We should get back in…"

I may have stuck my bottom lip out and pouted a little. He just laughed, "Come on, Jasper…I know you want a Dilly Bar…we could go eat a few and talk some more?"

I smiled, "Hell yeah I wanna Dilly Bar!"

So we walked back in and grabbed a six pack of the delicious frozen treat and resumed our positions on the front counter top as we talked.

"Hey, there could be worse things than this, Edward…we could be at the fuckin' prom right now with all those ass hats from school."

He smiled, "I don't know…prom might not have been so bad…I mean, it's like a right of passage or some shit…"

I rolled my eyes, "No, getting stoned under the bleachers during a pep rally is a right of passage…prom is like a form of torture in some countries…"

He laughed and shook his head. Then he got up and turned off the lights and just lit the overhead fryer lights. He smiled as he held out his hand, "Dance with me?"

I looked up in horror, "I can't dance…"

That sweet crooked grin came on his face as he grabbed my hand and pulled me up, "Please?"

I huffed, "Alright, fine…"

I put my arms around his waist cuz if we were gonna dance…I wasn't gonna be the chick.

He laughed and brought my arms up on his shoulders, "I should really lead since you don't know how to dance."

I furrowed my brows but then I felt his hands around my waist and on my back. I felt the tug of my shirt being pulled out of my pants and then his fingers brushing along my overheated skin.

_So good…_

I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder.

_Fuck it…if I'm gonna be the chick, I'm gonna reap all the fuckin' benefits…_

_Fuck, I'm still high…_

Then I felt him pull me close until our bodies were pressed into one another. I tried to focus on the music and how I should move but I was getting way too worked up cuz I was high as mother fucker…

He laughed softly and whispered in my ear, "Don't think, Jasper…just feel, remember?"

I let out a breath and just sort of…melted into him again. Our bodies moved together slowly to the music…and he was right. I didn't have to think at all…my body knew just what to do when he was near.

We danced underneath the fryer lights to "Fade Into You."

_This totally reminds me of that episode of Saved By the Bell when Kelly couldn't afford a prom dress so her and Zach ended up having their, like, own little mini prom outside the school…that was pimp shit._

"What are you giggling about, Jasper?"

The sound of his laugh pulled me back and I could feel my cheeks burn as I mumbled, "Um…nothing. Why? What are you laughin' about?"

He giggled even harder, "You. You're so funny…you're really a lot of fun to be with."

I blushed even harder cuz no one had ever really said something nice like that to me before…I mean, besides mama and granny but they didn't count.

Then he sighed, "Man…I am so fucking stoned right now."

Now I giggled pretty hard and he joined me.

Then he blushed and ran his hand through his crazy bronze hair, "Want another Dilly Bar?"

I nodded, "Hell yeah I want a Dilly Bar!"

We giggled a little more and finished off the six pack we had opened earlier. We sat up on the counter top and he smiled at me, "So, you keep distracting me. I want to know what you want to do after school, Jasper. Please?"

I sighed a little and looked down as I started swinging my legs back and forth, "It's just a pipe dream, Edward…and not the good kind like Tommy Chong uses…it's really stupid cuz there's no way it's gonna happen…"

He gently reached over and nudged my foot with his as he looked over at me, "My dream is to go to Harvard, like my grandfather. He died when I was eight but I remember that he would come over twice a week and take me out for ice cream. We'd just sit and eat while I rambled a hundred miles a minute about a book idea I would have. I wanted to be a writer…kind of like Stephen King because I had watched Christine once and thought it was the coolest movie I had ever seen. Anyway, he would always listen and ask questions…he was really interested…or really probably more amused…but he always listened. My father went to Stanford to upset his father. They never really got along. So, there's no chance in Hell I could ever go…he'd never pay for it."

Edward was a lot different than I had thought. He was actually kind of deep and stuff.

"You're smart, Edward. You could try for a scholarship."

I hated seeing him unhappy. That shit made me unhappy.

_That's weird…_

He sighed, "The chances of getting into Harvard are slim enough…the chances of getting a scholarship into Harvard are considerably lower…"

I smiled, "Hey…the chances of finding a dinosaur living in the ocean is pretty fuckin' low…but I totally believe it's gonna happen. I'd be willing to bet that you could go to Harvard if you really wanted. I think you could do just about anything you wanna do, Edward."

He smiled now as his cheeks darkened, "That's very nice of you, Jasper. I'd be willing to bet you could do anything you wanted too. I know that you're very smart…you're in all the same AP classes I am, just different periods. So, what's holding you back?"

I sighed, "A lot. If I could do anything I wanted to do…I'd go to MIT. I have all these crazy ideas swirlin' around in my head…ideas that I'd love to see if I could make happen…like interactive video games and computer generated graphics that look really real so that movies would be the fuckin' shit stoned…and like, some kind of little portable music player where you could, like, save hundreds of songs on so you could play your own little soundtrack to life every single day. I don't wanna be tied to a stupid office or on a machine…I just wanna get high and fuck with shit…see what I come up with."

Edward smiled beautifully, "You could totally do that."

I took a breath and shook my head, "There's no way we could afford it. I'd have to get a full ride scholarship which is like damn near impossible…and even if I did…I couldn't leave mama. Rosie's going to USC in the fall with her jock boyfriend. I'm all mama has and she needs me here…I can't leave her. I'll probably just…get a job down at the factory where she works out."

He nudged my foot again and I looked over at him. He smiled softly, "Did you know that Harvard and MIT are only, like, 15 minutes apart from each other?"

_Wow…that would be fuckin' awesome…but…maybe…no…fuck…_

I tried to smile but it came out more as a grimace cuz that made the whole thing suck even more, "Too bad it'll never happen."

He let out a big sigh, "Man…I'm really bummed now. Want to go get high again and kiss some more?"

I laughed a little and so did he. Then I smiled, "Hell yeah I wanna get high and kiss."

So, that's what we did. We kept our bodies a little further apart and just enjoyed the kissin' part for awhile. Then I heard a car pulling in out front. We broke the kiss and Edward ran a hand through his hair and panted, "I'll go in…why don't you take out the trash…ya know, get rid of the evidence?"

I smiled as I smoothed out my shirt, "Sure, dude. I'll be in there in a minute."

He walked in and I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the trash so I could dispose of the empty Dilly Bar box and onion rings bag.

I didn't know what the hell was going on with me and Edward…but I had never felt more hopeful in my whole life then when I was with him.

I wasn't sure what it meant but it was definitely wanna those things that make you go hmm…

I walked back in when I heard a familiar voice, "You're a fucking fag, Cullen! The only reason you even have friends is cause you're loaded! You're a fucking loser!"

I stormed out to see Felix and Jacob bending Edward's arm behind his back and cramming his face into the counter. A few more of the rez guys were cheering them on in the background.

_See! This is why I need a little portable music player! Cuz fuckin' Sabotage would be blarin' right now! I'm telling' ya'll it's sabotage…_

"Let him go! What the hell's wrong with you fuckers!"

Felix looked up and laughed, "Dude? You work here?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, for three fuckin' years now let him go."

He tightened his grip and Edward cried out. My heart was racing as I saw his face scrunched up in pain.

I didn't know what to do. I was afraid to jump in…afraid they'd hurt Edward worse or they'd jump us both…so I did the only thing I could think of to get them to stop…

"Look, I've got a blunt of killer shit…let's go out back and chill…"

Felix shrugged and shoved Edward into the table as they all laughed and followed me outside. The look in his eyes as I walked by, nearly brought me to my knees.

I sparked it up and hoped like hell that Edward would just wait and let me explain why I did what I did.

Once the blunt was finished, they all left so I quickly ran back inside to make sure Edward was okay…but he was gone.

I took a deep breath and sat down at the counter. A small box caught my eye. It was a birthday present.

I opened up the box and my stomach twisted as I pulled out the little snow globe. There was a tiny plastic dinosaur floating around amidst the snow and water. I looked closer and saw that the dinosaur had little red streaks all through is eyes. It was really goofy looking…like something he had made just for me.

I laid my head down on the counter and squeezed my eyes shut…

_Why didn't I stand up for him? Why am I such a fuckin' pussy? What the hell's wrong with me?_

_He's leaving in a year anyway so it's not like it really matters…except it sure as fuck matters cuz if all I have is one year, then I need to spend as much time with him in this year as I can._

_Just like Lloyd Dobbler from Say Anything… _

"_My plan is to spend as much time with your son as I can before he leaves, Mr. Cullen…oh and get fucked ya mean, hypocritical bastard! Cuz Edward is the mother fuckin' shit! He's funny and cute and sweet and smart and an asshole and…he's awesome."_

_And I let him get away. _

_Mother fucker…No wait! I need a boom box. There's one in the kitchen…mama has some tapes in the truck…hmm…_

_So, what's it gonna be? Am I the loser kid from The Last American Virgin who drives away at the end of the movie in tears like a fuckin' pussy? Or am I John motherfuckin' Cusack, holding a boom box over my head and blaring sweet romantic shit in the name of love? _

_John Cusack always gets the girl…er, boy…whatever…_

I jumped up and grabbed the phone, dialing quickly.

"Hello?"

"Aro? This is Jasper down at the restaurant! There's been a bomb threat called in! I'm closing up early! I'll tell you more later…the bomb sniffing dogs are here! Gotta go!"

_Edward deserved for someone to make a big deal out of him…he was better than I had treated him…I mean, the boy took the time to draw little red streaks in the dinosaurs eyes…if that ain't good boyfriend material, I don't know what is…and I could totally fall in love with him…_

I hung up the phone and grabbed the shitty little boom box we had in the kitchen before running out to my mama's truck and barreling as fast as I could to Edward's house.

I pulled down the driveway and saw that his light was the only one in the house on. I took a deep breath and grabbed the small boom box before walking around to the back of the house.

Mama didn't have much of a cassette collection in the truck so I prayed like hell that this worked.

I pressed play and let PM Dawn tell him what I was feeling…

_Is it my turn to wish you were lying here_

_I tend to dream you when I'm sleeping_

_Is it my turn to fictionalize my world_

_Or even imagine your emotions_

_To tell myself anything_

_Is it my turn to hold you by your hands_

_Tell you I love you and you hear me_

_Is it my turn to totally understand_

_To watch you walk out of my life_

_And not do a damn thing_

_If I have to give away_

_Of the feeling that I feel_

_If I have to sacrifice_

_Whatever babe, whatever baby_

_If I have to take apart_

_All that I am_

_Is there anything that I would not do_

_Cuz inside I'd die without you_

I saw him pull back the curtain and look out. I could see those reefer eyes staring right into my soul…_Fuck, I'm still high…_

_Oh I apologize for all the things I've done_

_But now I'm underwater and I'm drowning_

_Is it my turn to be the one to cry_

_Isn't it amazing how some things_

_Just completely turn around_

_So take every little piece of my heart_

_So take every little piece of my soul_

_So take every little piece of my mind_

_Cuz if you're gone_

_Inside_

_I'd die without you_

The song ended and I'm Too Sexy started immediately playing…

_Oops…forgot about that…_

I yelled up, "Hang on…I gotta fast forward it!"

I saw him laugh as he finally pulled the window up and leaned out. He yelled back, "Go home, Jasper! This is stupid! It's not like it meant anything!"

I huffed and set the boom box down as I finally pressed play. I Swear started playing as I ran to the truck and grabbed the hot pink sleeping bag in the back from a camping trip Rose took a few weeks ago with some friends, cursin' my mama's horrible taste in music and Rosie's horrible taste in sleeping bags, the whole way.

I brought it around to the back and rolled it out. I yelled back up, "Do you remember in that movie Valley Girl when Nicholas Cage camped outside that chick's house? That's what's gonna happen, Cullen! We could learn a valuable lesson from that movie, Edward! She was from the valley and he was a city punk but they loved each other enough to make it work! I'm not saying I'm in love with you or anything cuz, seriously, it's just way too soon for that but I'm not saying that I couldn't love you someday cuz truth be known, you're really fuckin' cool and I really like you a whole lot! And I think that if we…"

"Jasper? Jasper? Take a breath man, before you pass out!"

I sucked in a deep breath and put my hands on my knees.

"Go home, Jasper! We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

I shook my head…in the movies, people did not go home and talk about it the next day. They fuckin' took charge and made shit happen!

I looked up and saw him wiping at his eyes…that made me spring into action.

Suddenly, I was climbing up the tree and clinging onto the branches for dear life. It was then that I remembered I was afraid of heights.

About an hour later, after Cullen had came outside and climbed up the tree to pry my fingers from the branches and help me down, I was lying on his front porch swing with my head in his lap.

Now that I had regained clear vision again, I removed the damp cloth from my forehead and sat up.

"Are you feeling okay now, Jasper?"

I sighed, "Um…yeah…thanks for the save."

He shrugged, "No biggie."

I closed my eyes and just let it out, "Look, Edward…the thing is…I know I'm not cool, okay…I mean, I'm like a total geek and you and me are going in completely different directions but…I would change my direction if it means I get to just spend more time with you…because I don't feel like a geek when I'm with you…I feel smart and funny…and I think you're the coolest boy I've ever known…and I think that maybe we could have something really, really good here…I mean, we have one year left of high school and I don't know about you but it would be really nice to have someone to hang out with on Friday night and someone to kiss whenever I wanted and um…do other stuff with y'know so I was thinking that maybe…"

He pressed his finger to my lip, "Shhh, Jasper…are you still high?"

I nodded and he smiled, "So, what are you asking me?"

I took a deep breath and grabbed both his hands, "I'm asking you if you would…um…y'know…do ya wanna be my…uh…boyfriend?"

That crooked grin was in full force as he brought my hands up on his shoulders and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Yes, Jasper. That would be um…awesome."

I let out a sigh of relief before pulling _my _boy to me and kissing him thoroughly.

Quite a while later, I pulled my swollen lips from his and smiled, "Where's your glasses, Edward?"

He blushed deeply and mumbled, "Um…I thought that I might…uh…look better with contacts."

"Are you kidding me? I mean, Edward you're totally fucking hot and the glasses only add to the overall fuckhotness cuz it's kinda like you're the Clark Kent of sexy…ya see everyday people don't see the absolute sex God just waiting to break free underneath the glasses…so what I'm saying is…"

He laughed, "You're saying that you're Lois Lane, right?"

I furrowed my brows and huffed, "No…dick."

He started laughing even harder and wiped his eyes, "You are so unlike anyone I've ever met before, Jasper."

I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "That doesn't sound like a good thing…"

He stood up and grabbed my hand, "Trust me, Jasper…it's a fucking awesome thing. Now, c'mon…I've got to take these contacts out…they've been making my eyes water all day."

I stopped, "Wait a second! I saw you wiping your eyes before I took off up that tree cuz I thought you were crying cuz I touched your heart, fucker! That was like, the ultimate romantic fuckin' gesture! Do you even really like me?"

He turned and sighed before he walked up to me and smiled, "Jasper? Are you still high?"

I crossed my arms and nodded.

He laughed, "Dude? You're paranoid. I like you, Jasper. I like you a lot."

Now I smiled back, my wide dimpled grin as I threw my arm around him, "So, what exactly do you like about me?"

He just shook his head as he started leading me up the stairs, "Are you fishing for compliments?"

I nodded, "Yep…does this door go to your bedroom?"

He raised an eyebrow and leaned against the door, "Yeah?"

I smiled as I turned the knob and started walking him backwards, "Are your parents gonna be gone awhile?"

He took a deep breath and nodded as his arms went around my neck.

"Ya wanna fool arou…dude? You got a Nintendo 64? Sweet! Can we play?"

He laughed as he handed me a controller, "Go ahead, man. I'm going to go take these contacts out."

I laid down on his bed and started playing.

_I am the luckiest man alive…I have a gorgeous, sweet, hot as fuck boyfriend…said boyfriend has a huge house and parents that are hardly ever home…and yet…I'm lying here playing Zelda…_

_I'm not being a very good boyfriend…I should be, like, spending time with him and shit…_

I was getting up to turn off the game when Edward walked out wearing those sexy as fuck glasses. He smiled, "You're done, already? I was going to go make us some nachos…you want everything on it?"

I smiled as I flopped back down, "Fuck yeah…thanks, babe."

He laughed and rolled his eyes as he left. I smiled and continued playing Zelda.

_Senior year is gonna be fuckin…holy shit…is that a hooka? Mother fucker's gotta hooka! I have the coolest boyfriend in all of…mother of God, is that the complete Cheech and Chong VHS collection? _

I reached down in my pocket and pulled out the last of my stuff.

_I'm gonna have to visit with Peter and Charlotte tomorrow…but I'm fuckin' broke till Friday…time to pull out, "I introduced you fuckers" card…hope that shit works…_

Edward yelled from downstairs, "Hey Jas? I keep my bongs in the closet! Pick one out and fill that shit up! There's plenty of bud in there too!"

I smiled as I hopped up and walked over to the closet. When I opened the doors, my heart leapt and Loving You started playing softly in the background…

There stood about ten full grown plants in the huge walk in closet. The insides were covered with aluminum foil and set up with lamps and watering devices. The plants reaked of sticky goodness and rich, full buds hung from the stems like those sweet trees made of candy in Willy Wonka…but this was a million times cooler.

I heard a soft laugh behind me as I felt arms wrap around my waist, "Last year at Christmas, I saved all the money I received and bought a pound of this Alaskan bud from my cousin, Tanya. Anyway, I cultivated the seeds and have been experimenting with different strains. I supply the town of Forks as well as several surrounding counties. In fact, there's a good chance that I supply who you buy from."

My breathing hitched as I whispered, "Peter and Charlotte?"

He laughed, "Pete and Lotty? Hell yeah…so, anyway, if you ever need anything…feel free to help yourself. I make more than I could ever smoke by myself and I always have new plants budding."

I looked at the bud and looked into his reefer eyes, "I love…pot. Thank you."

He smiled, "No biggie…now c'mon, let's smoke before we eat nachos and I whoop your ass in Mortal Kombat."

_Yeah, I could totally fall in love with this boy…_


	4. Senior Year

**I'm sorry about the long delay between chapters. Remember, kiddies...if you don't know what a beeper is...you're too young for this story.**

**Songs are on my youtube, in the playlists.**

**Hey Lover by LL Cool J, You're Making Me High by Toni Braxton, Feenin' by Jodeci, I Wanna Come Over by Melissa Etheridge**

**Jasper's Bedroom - Summer after graduation - July 26, 1996**

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow…"

He looked over at me and sighed, his pretty sad eyes looked like Afghani Kush…bright emerald green with little red streaks in them…it just made it that much sadder.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. My dad has had this planned since forever…he wants to take me down to Stanford early, introduce me around and show me the campus. It will be fine. I'll get a good education and then once I'm finished with school, I'll tell him to fuck off…only four more years at the very least…"

We were sitting on the floor with our backs against my bed, smoking a joint. Our knees were leant on each other and so were our heads. The little potted pot plant sat beside me. A gift from him to remember him by…even though it was surely gonna die in Massachusetts, it was just a seedling.

I sighed and exhaled as I handed him the joint, "I'm really sorry, Edward…"

He lifted his head and smiled at me, "It's okay. I'm really proud of you, Jasper…you're going to be living your dream…I'm so excited for you."

I griped and groaned at Edward for months about him making me apply for just about every scholarship I could get…_and _MIT. I just knew it was a complete waste of time…until I received a really thick envelope in the mail with an acceptance letter and full scholarship information from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

I had never been more happy in my whole life. Unfortunately, Edward had only received an acceptance letter to Harvard but no scholarship, so even with all the money he saved from selling the sweet ganj…it wasn't enough.

This last year had been the best of my whole life. Edward was the most awesome person I had ever known.

He was gorgeous and sweet and funny and let's just say the boy had a tech nine in the bushes…he wasn't one of those dirt weed pinner joints where you gotta tear off half the paper cuz you don't have but a pinch of weed…no, he was one of them Jamaican bamboo leaf joints…

_Long._

_Thick._

_Sticky._

_Not icky._

_Me like to licky._

_Don't care where…I'm not picky…_

"Jas? Are you rapping in your head again?"

I bust out into a fit of giggles cuz I'm high as fuck on my green girl but low as hell cuz my bronze boy is leavin…and how's that old sayin' go…laugh till you cry, er…cry and laugh later…no…laugh now, cry later…that's it…thank God, I hate when I can't remember somethin' and then that shit bothers me forever…like when ya got a song lyric or somethin' stuck in your head and you can't get it out cuz you can't find that shit on the radio…then three fuckin' long days later you finally hear it and realize you've been singin' the wrong damn lyrics the whole time…I hate that shit…

"What are you thinking now? You look annoyed."

I look up into his eyes and it's a big mistake cuz no matter how much I try and distract myself…I can't believe this is our last night together…possibly for forever…that fuckin' sucked big ass hairy donkey balls.

And his eyes are the prettiest thing I've ever seen…even prettier than the best 'dro.

And his lips are more intoxicating than inhaling the smoothest kahn.

And the way he made my whole body tingle was better than…anything.

I was really going to miss him.

And I think I might be in love with him.

I'm completely in love with his pot and it hurt like a son of a bitch to watch him donate the last of his plants to Peter and Charlotte.

I really, really loved his pot.

But it's also possible that I love him even more. Not that I would ever tell him that. Our relationship was wonderful but kind of strange. We were stoner buddies who ate pizza and chips while we watched Yo MTV Raps on the couch in my itty bitty trailer and he bitched about them takin' off Headbangers Ball. And I'd pull my shirt up over my head and do my best Beavis impression, "I am the great cornholio…I need tp for my bunghole…"

And he'd laugh.

We've also fooled around quite a bit. And by quite a bit I mean…dude, I was raised a stoned southern gentleman so I'll just say we were making up for lost time.

We hadn't gone all the way yet but we had done just about everything else. We didn't really talk about it though. I admit, I was a little scared. Edward had more experience than me cuz he had spent the summer before Freshman year at this music camp where him and some stupid little wiener named Riley fooled around. Luckily, for me, it had never gotten past hand jobs but still…it pissed me off!

But I let it go cuz…_fuck _Riley, I got a blow job! A lot of blow jobs! And one rim job! And it was fuckin' awesome! So fuck the stupid son of a…

"Quit thinking about Riley…you know it didn't mean anything."

I huffed and glared at him. He smiled at me.

I couldn't be mad at him…not tonight.

Cuz he was right, I _did _know that Riley didn't mean anything…but I wasn't sure if _I _meant anything and that's what bothered me.

But I hid it behind a smile, "Get outta my head, fucker."

He laughed but it wasn't real. I knew his real laughs.

Fuck, I was sad. I was super sad. I was so fuckin' sad that even the sweet sticky icky couldn't chase the blues away.

Cuz when Edward left, my super duper high was gonna be gone and I was gonna be stuck with being just normal high like the all damn common folk.

He sighed and reached his arm up and around my shoulder, pulling me into him. We both just sat there for awhile…not smoking, not talking, barely breathing.

Eventually he sighed and whispered, "I have to go home."

I wanted to bang my chest with my fists and scream, 'This…_this _is your home, boy!,' like one of those bad asses in Boyz in the Hood or Menace II Society…but I could never pull that shit off…I'm just a corn-fed white boy…

So, I squeezed my eyes shut for a second to gain some control. I would not cry.

I took a breath and sat up, pulling my knees to my chin and burying my face there, "Okay."

I felt him before he even ran his fingers through my curls, "Jas? Don't you want to kiss me good-bye?"

I lifted my head and glared as tears streamed down my face, "No! I don't wanna fuckin' kiss you good bye! I don't want you to go! Why can't you just stay? Just tell your dad to fuck off!"

_Okay, so maybe I would cry…and throw an itty bitty bitch fest…_

I knew the things I was sayin' were unfair but I couldn't help it. I'm not sure how it happened but over the last year, Edward Cullen had become the second most important thing in my life…

The first was my mama…not weed like ya'll were just thinking…

His face fell in pain and he croaked out, "That's not fair, Jasper! You're leaving in two weeks!"

And guilt washed through me in waves cuz the only time I had seen him cry was when he told me his parents were getting divorced as soon as he graduated…ya know, they at least wanted to stay together until he was 'grown.'

Helluva graduation gift, huh?

_Bastards._

I grabbed him and pulled him to me, he was on his knees in between my legs. His arms wrapped around my back and mine wrapped around his shoulders, bringing him close enough for me to bury my face in his neck and breathe him in.

I whispered, "I'm sorry, Edward…I'm not mad at you…this is just…fucked up…"

He nodded against my shoulder and whispered back, "I know…you'll be okay, Jasper. Once you get settled into school, you'll make friends and start a whole new life…"

I squeezed him tighter and shook my head, "I don't wanna new life…I want you."

He lifted his face and looked into mine, those crazy hemp eyes glistening, "You're the most incredible person I have ever known, Jas. And you're going to do great things at MIT. And eventually, you'll move on and find someone who's worthy of everything you have to give…well, you'll never find anyone worthy enough because you're amazing…"

Then he started bowing like Wayne and Garth saying, "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"

I started laughing and he chuckled as he stood up. He held out his hand and I took it as he pulled me up. He was actually the same height as me now.

Our arms wrapped around each other and he leaned in and kissed me softly, knowing that mama was home and we couldn't get too worked up…kissing almost always led to other stuff.

Then he squeezed his eyes shut and whispered, "I'll come see you and Lucy before I leave tomorrow."

He pulled away and took all the heat and high with him as he turned and took a step towards the door.

I couldn't watch him leave without telling him how I felt…my mouth just reacted as I yelled, "Wait!"

He turned back around and pulled his glasses off, wiping at his eyes.

_Just say it, man…I love you…it's not that hard…you wrote a whole damn rap about why you love to smoke herb…just say I love you…_

"I…um…uh…"

_Shit, I'm blowing it! Damn, it! I wish I could hit a reset button!_

I huffed and looked down. My favorite pipe was lying there on my bed. It was my first one. I made it in my Woodshop class during free time and I painted it bright green in art class. And then I very carefully wrote two of my favorite quotes on it using calligraphy stencils.

One side read, "None but ourselves can free our minds - Bob Marley"

And the other side read, "Life's a bitch and then you die so fuck the world…let's get high."

I sighed as I reached down and grabbed it. I walked over to where Edward stood, wiping off his glasses on his Nine Inch Nails t-shirt.

I handed it to him and let out a breath, "I want you to take this, Edward…and every time you toke up…think of me."

He snorted as he giggled and ran his fingers over the smooth sides and whispered, "None but ourselves can free our minds…"

Then he smiled a real beautiful crooked grin before throwing his arms around me and pulling me close as he whispered, "I'm going to miss you so much, Jas."

I held him just as tight and breathed him in…one last time, "I'm gonna miss you too, Ed. Like crazy."

And then he pulled away and crashed his lips to mine, engulfing me in the heat of his mouth and the sweet taste of his tongue. And just like that, I was fuckin' toasted.

I moaned and gripped his hair tight between my fingers, holding him hard so he wouldn't go.

His fingers were wrapped in my curls and he groaned as he pushed me backwards until I fell on my stupid twin sized bed, bringing him crashing down on top of me.

He accidentally kneed me a little but I was a man about it cuz the feeling of his body on mine was always just too much…

Best. Fuckin. High. Ever.

He rolled his hips into mine and I grabbed his ass as I shoved my hips back up into his…

"Oh my! Um…maybe you boys should shut the door…"

We both gasped as we broke the kiss and looked over at my mama's wide eyes and pink cheeks.

I mumbled as my cheeks began to burn, "Uh…hi mama…Edward's here…"

She smirked, "Yes, I know that, darlin. His car's parked out front. And your hands are still on his ass."

_Yes…yes, they are._

We both quickly jumped up and tried to right ourselves, both grabbing a pillow and situating it across our laps.

Mama just had no sense about teenage boy awkwardness as she strode across the room and grabbed Edward's cheeks, leaning down to kiss it and then tousle his hair, "You're gonna come see us tomorrow 'fore ya leave, right baby?"

He blushed even harder and nodded as he smiled, "Yeah, of course, Lucy."

She smiled and turned but as she got to the door she turned around and squinted up her nose, "It smells just plain weird in here. I know you're a teenage boy, son, but can you pick up the dirty clothes or somethin'…take out the trash…open a window or somethin'…whew…"

And then she _finally _left.

I let out a breath and he sighed, "I really do have to go."

I nodded and there was that heart crushing ache again, "I'll walk you to the door."

I followed him the twenty steps or so it took him to get to the front door. He looked up at me and smiled weakly, "Bye Jasper."

I tried to smile back, "Bye Edward."

He opened the door and hung his head down, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

I put my hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Ed…"

Then he turned and kissed me again, hard and desperate. I returned it until my lungs were aching from lack of air.

He broke the kiss and we both stood there just panting.

Then he leaned in and pecked my lips one more time before whispering, "I love you, Jas."

Before I could even open my eyes, he was half way in his car and pulling down the road.

I was in shock. I focused on just breathing.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

In.

"Baby boy…you okay?"

And then I breathed out, really loudly, "No I'm not okay! This sucks! Everything's changing and I'm probably gonna see him for, like, two seconds tomorrow and then I'll probably never see him again! He just told me he loved me, mama, and he's gonna be in California and I'm gonna be in Massachusetts and we already decided that it would be too hard to try and have a long distance relationship since he ain't even comin' out of the closet but that was before he said the 'L' word! Why the hell did I waste three damn years being scared to talk to him? Now he's leavin' and…"

I started crying now, "…I'm really, really sad, mama…I love him too…"

She pulled me into her arms and we both flung down on the couch. She ran her fingers through my curls and it always helped to calm me down.

She whispered, "I know it hurts, baby…your first heart break always hurts like hell…but you're gonna be okay, son. It's gonna take time but no matter what happens between you and Edward, you're gonna be fine cuz you're so smart and so strong and so wonderful. But you go ahead and cry, baby…let some of that hurt out while mama's here to soak it up…"

And so I cried hard for a few minutes before finally calming down to just sniffles.

"Son? I know that everything's changin' and sometimes changin' is scary as hell but it can be freeing too, baby. We all gotta go through things and face our fears and take the world head on sometimes…cuz the world is always changin' around us…you just gotta make sure that it doesn't change who _you _are. With your loving heart, and your brilliant mind, and your dashin' good looks…you're gonna do just fine, baby."

I looked up at her and rolled my eyes, "I look like Farmer Ted, mama."

She furrowed her brows, "Who's he? He must be cute as a button…"

I smiled, "Edward thinks he is."

She smiled back, "Well, Edward's one smart boy…I'm still rootin' for him, ya know…I'm still hopin' that he gets his happy ending."

I sighed and looked down, "Yeah, mama…me too."

I excused myself to go lay down and mope.

I took a few hits from my blunt roach and closed my eyes. My thoughts drifted back to those first couple weeks after I asked him to be mine.

_Those first couple of days were awesome. We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out and getting to know each other better…and kissing…a lot of kissing._

_He was a fantastic kisser. He always tasted so good and his lips were so strong but so soft. I loved kissing him._

_And we talked about how we were gonna handle school. Neither one of us was ready to come out to all those ass clowns at school but we decided that we were just gonna be friends while within those walls._

_So, when I saw him, I'd say, "Hey, Ed."_

_He'd smile and nod, "Hey, Jas."_

_And it was so cool. _

_Then at lunch, I walked in and he was sitting at a table by himself. He looked up and smiled so I went over and sat down across from him. I whispered, "Um…is this okay?"_

_He smiled nervously, "It's fine…we're allowed to be friends, right?"_

_I nodded and looked down at the table as I saw Mike and the Mighty Prepeteers walk up._

"_Cullen? Why the hell are you sitting with trailer boy?"_

_I frowned and glared…at the table, ready to grab my stupid tray and move outside._

_Edward reached over and grabbed my tray so I couldn't pick it up, "No, wait, Jas."_

_Then he furrowed his brows up at Newton, "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."_

_I smiled as he quoted Einstein and Newton looked annoyed and confused. Then he shrugged, "Whatever, dude. So, big party at your house Friday night…"_

_Edward shook his head, "No."_

_Now Newton looked really confused, "What?"_

_Edward stood up and towered over Newton now, "I said no. Find somewhere else to hang out. I'm sick of you guys using my place to binge drink and party just because of the lack of parental supervision. We're not even really friends."_

_Newton rolled his eyes, "No shit, I only hung with you cause my mom made be nice to 'the weird Cullen kid,'. You're on your own, dude. Fucking geek…"_

_Then he and his cronies walked off._

_Edward was now looking down at the table with red cheeks and that shit just wasn't right. _

_So I nudged him with my foot under the table and he looked up at me. I smiled, "Geeks are gonna rule the world one day. Ed."_

_He laughed now and nodded, "And when we do, we're going to come back here and rub that shit in Newton's ugly face, deal?"_

_He held out his fist for me to bump and I did as I laughed, "Deal."_

_We started eating and talking about shit we wanted to do over the summer. My last class of the day was Advanced Chemistry and I was acing that shit so the teacher let me out early to do some research in the library on my own._

_So I went outside behind the dumpster and blazed._

_I was off in my own little daydream about Edward and me in a field of pot, singing like that chick from The Sound of Music…"The hills are alive with the smell of reefer…"_

"_Yo, J-Dawg! I smell it, let me inhale it, man."_

_I opened my eyes and glared at Felix, then I did my best Smokey impression, "You didn't put in on this, man."_

_He looked shocked as he reached for the joint, "What?"_

_I rolled my eyes, "If you want a joint, I'll sell you one but you ain't smokin' for free no more. The only time you even talk to me is when you wanna smoke up all my shit. That ain't happening no more."_

_He turned and waved his hand dismissively, "Whatever…you're sister's leaving soon anyway…I ain't go no reason to put up with your geeky ass anymore if you're gonna be all selfish and shit."_

_He walked away and I smiled as I took another toke and mumbled, "See…the weed be letting ya know…evil lurks."_

_After that, our old "friends" pretty much left us alone except for the occasional taunting which we would just ignore. It didn't matter if we fit in with them anymore…we fit with each other and turns out, that was all we needed._

_Summer started a few days later and surprisingly, Edward liked to stay at my house way more than his, even though his house was usually empty. We'd hang out in my room, smoking and listening to music…or chillin' and watching TV…or pretending to watch TV…_

_The first time we touched each other was on my couch. Mama was in bed but said Edward could stay over if he wanted as long as one of us slept on the couch._

_So, we were sitting on opposite ends of it, watching Tales from the Crypt. The tension was killing me cuz I had barely gotten to kiss him all day with Rose and mama around. I was leaning against the armrest, twirling my curls around my fingers as I chewed on my lip._

_He was leaning against the other end, playing with the frayed bottom of his shirt like it was the most interesting thing in the world._

"_Um…want some popcorn or somethin'?"_

_He looked up and nodded, "Uh, sure."_

_I got up to go make some microwave popcorn and I saw Edward shift uncomfortably in his seat as I walked by him._

_I smiled, "You can go get a t-shirt and some shorts or somethin' to sleep in, if ya wanna stay."_

_He blushed but his lips curled up into that fuckawesome crooked grin, "Yeah, I think I will."_

_I put the popcorn in and walked past him, looking over my shoulder, making sure a few curls fell into my eyes and smiled, "Come on, Ed…you can change in my room."_

_That's right, Ed…I know you like these dirty blonde curls…I knew he liked them cuz he had a major crush on Joe McIntyre from New Kids on the Block. I found a copy of The Big Bopper magazine in his nightstand drawer when I was looking for a rolling paper. The pages of a Joey Joe centerfold were stuck together. Man, I loved to tease him about that shit. As long as he didn't discover my obsession with John Cusack then things would be all good._

_He jumped up and nearly fell over his own feet. When we got to my room, I dug him out a white t-shirt and a pair of dark green basketball shorts. That shit would make his eyes pop. _

_Fuck…I'm turning into a girl more and more every damn day…_

_I grabbed me some shorts and a t-shirt and went to the bathroom to change. Then I went back into the kitchen and grabbed the popcorn, salting the hell out of it before pouring it in a bowl. I grabbed a couple of grape Faygo's and sat it down on the coffee table._

_A few minutes later, he walked into the living room and fuck me if he didn't look damn good wearing my clothes._

_He sat down and was still blushing. I couldn't keep my eyes off his calves. Call me crazy but those little bronze hairs on his legs were doing strange things to me. I saw him shudder and then he got goose bumps._

_I reached up behind us and grabbed the quilt off the back of the couch, "You cold, Ed?"_

_He nodded and smiled shyly, "Uh, yeah…thanks."_

_I guess it would be different being in air conditioning as opposed to central air. It does get a little cold in here sometimes._

_He pulled the quilt over his lap and I swear I saw the quilt move as he adjusted himself underneath it._

_That made me break out in goose bumps. He smiled over at me and held up the other end, "Want some?"_

_Fuck yeah I want some…I wanted some so bad I felt like breaking out into Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some,"…and then that started the whole claymation hamburger sequence from Better Off Dead…one of my favorite John Cusack movies…_

_I scooted over a little and slipped underneath the blanket with him. All of a sudden, I was very overheated but I sure as fuck wasn't taking the blanket off._

_His calf brushed mine…and then his thigh…and then he was sitting right next to me. But when his bare foot brushed across mine, I had to bite my lip to stifle a moan. _

_He just sat there, looking all innocent and shit…the fucker._

_I was tenting the quilt now so I grabbed the popcorn bowl and sat it on my lap. I laid my head back on the couch and turned my face to look at him through a few loose curls, my eyes half lidded from being stoned and being near him, "Want some?"_

_His eyes turned to mine and they were dark, like that Mexican brick weed I brought off Maria last year, as they watched me over top his dark framed fuck hot glasses._

_And then he smiled and whispered, "Yes. Are you going to give me some, Jas?"_

_Fuck I loved it when he…did anything…I just fuckin' loved it all._

_My heart was racing and my whole face was on fire as I mumbled, "Um…uh…"_

_That was about it._

_He started laughing and grabbed a handful of popcorn, "I win."_

_The fuckin' nerve! Get me all worked up that I stutter and shit…fuckin' asshole._

_I glared at the Cryptkeeper as he cackled, "I wouldn't want to lose my head!" And then his head falls off and rolls until he starts cackling again._

_I chuckled a little but only cuz that shit's funny when you're blazed._

_Then I glared again. _

_Edward started giggling, "You're so cute when you glare angrily at things."_

_I changed from a glare to a scowl and directed it at him, "This isn't a game, fucker."_

_He rolled his eyes and chuckled again before leaning over and whispering right in my ear…knowing that shit was making me hornier than a 17 year old boy who's never had his dick touched by anything but his own hand…oh wait, there's nothing hornier than that._

"_I've always thought of sex in the traditional form of baseball…"_

_His hand came over and removed the popcorn from our laps, placing it on the coffee table. Then it slid underneath the blanket and started rubbing my thigh. His other hand slid into the hair at the back of neck, tugging and wrapping his fingers in curls._

_My eyes closed as he leaned in and whispered again, "You see, first base is kissing and touching above the clothes…second is skin on skin…third is sucking and licking…so you see, Jas…I want to win this game…I want to come sliding into home…"_

_Holy shit…I can't believe I just found a baseball metaphor to be the sexiest thing I have ever heard._

_It even replaced when he told me about his weed closet and said I could have as much as I wanted. _

_It was that sexy._

_I groaned as his hand hovered dangerously close to the massive woody I was sporting through my basketball shorts. _

_My eyes opened as his hand finally wrap softly around my dick through the fabric and squeezed it gently from base to tip._

_I won't lie…I was ready to dedicate Jodeci's, "Feenin'", to the boy cuz when it came to Edward, I was a fuckin' fiend and couldn't get enough._

_His eyes were trained on my mouth as I moaned, "Oh fuck, Edward…"_

_My fingers clenched the cushions underneath me as my body automatically jutted up into his hand, needing more._

_His breath was coming out in shallow pants as he watched how good his touch made me feel. My head was lying back against the couch with my eyes squeezed shut and my mouth hung open unashamedly grunting and moaning and gasping for air as his hand tightened and continued it's divine torture of stroking me softly through two fuckin' layers of material._

_Fuck I wanted him to steal second base…_

_Both of his hands worked me into a euphoric state of bliss…a utopia of pleasure, if you will. We could start a utopian society consisting of just him and me…lying naked in a meadow of wildflowers and marijuana…and the dilly bars would never melt, not even in the warm sun that would shine down on his glistening porcelian body, shimmering with sweat from fuckin' me…I mean, me fuckin' him…utopia…ut-to-pi-a…that doesn't even sound like a real word…I dub thee, Edtopia…_

_His fingers were wrapped in my hair and wrapped around my cock and that shit was making me feel more stoned than I had ever felt in my entire life. And I knew I needed to touch him cuz from the way his breaths were sounding in my ear, he needed me to touch him._

_And I would._

_In just a minute…_

_I selfishly let him stroke me for awhile, just enjoying this new euphoric state._

_But when I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me through those pretty hydro eyes, dazed with desire…I reached over and wrapped my fingers around his swollen dick through his shorts._

_He groaned as his head fell to my shoulder, "Oh thank God…"_

_Then he lifted his face and smiled while he blushed. I couldn't help but smile back._

_He lifted his lips to mine and the little tortured spark that had been being fucked with all night between us…erupted into a thick heavy cloud of lust and desire that encircled us and pushed us on._

_My other hand slid behind his back and gripped his t-shirt, pulling him closer while my body pushed towards his impatiently._

_He pulled his lips from mine and they attached to my neck as he started biting and sucking the skin there that had gone way too long without being touched._

"_Fuck, Jas…you're driving me crazy…"_

_He panted against my neck and I swallowed the loud moan that wanted to surface from the thought that __**I **__was driving __**him **__crazy too. _

_But there was no swallowing that fuckin' moan when his fingers slid underneath the waistband of my shorts and boxers, wrapping around my cock. The whole head was already wet with pre-cum and when his palm swirled around it and began coating my cock…it was like taking a hit of acid…or so I've heard._

_Colors exploded behind my eyelids and the whole room was floating but his hand on my cock kept me grounded to the couch. _

_It was hot underneath that blanket and I was sweating, my curls sticking to the nape of my neck and cheeks. _

_His head was lying back now, eyes closed and mouth open as he moaned my name softly into the thick, night time air._

_He really was so beautiful._

_My fingers moved on their own until they were pushing their way down tight abs and short soft curls, finally wrapping around his heavy cock that was just as wet as mine._

_I had never touched a cock before…I mean, other than my own. And no one had ever touched mine. Sometimes, I would use my right hand to jerk off cuz I'm normally a lefty and it would almost feel like someone other than me was touching my dick._

_This was so much better._

_And his cock felt so good in my hand. I couldn't see it since we were underneath the quilt so I took the opportunity to explore it with my sense of touch. I felt the thick vein on the underside…the smooth ridge around the plump head…the soft skin that would glide up and down as I pumped him in my hand._

_His cock was long…I'm guessing around nine inches like my own. I figured that must be average since I hadn't seen any other penises in my lifetime. I mean, it's not like two super geeks like us would have abnormally large penises that 98% of the worlds male population would kill for._

_We were both a little frantic now as we moved into each other's hands and continued stroking one another's cocks._

_He leaned forward and rested his head on my shoulder. He was sweating too, I could feel the sweat tinged ends of his hair brushing against my extremely sensitive skin._

_His rugged breath against my neck was too much and I whisper moaned, so mama wouldn't wake up, "Oh God…Oh God…Oh Ed…Ed…gonna…gonna…oh God…" _

_And the walls reverberated with my soft cries as all the colors melted and saturated every inch of my vision…my toes curling into the carpet as I came in long, thick pulses all over his hand and in my shorts._

_My eyes opened just in time to see his head thrown back, eyes closed and that beautiful crooked grin replaced by an equally beautiful 'O'._

_His cock throbbed in my hand before I felt warm, gooey liquid coming out in waves as he pushed up into my fist._

_Once we came down off our super high, we wiped ourselves off with the blanket and went to take showers…separately of course. Not that I wasn't rooting for sharing a shower but I figured we were lucky we didn't get caught by mama so we shouldn't push it…tonight anyway._

_And that was the first time Edward touched my cock._

I snapped outta my daydream when mama knocked on the door.

I managed a raspy, "Come in, mama."

She walked and smiled, "Want the other half of this cherry popsicle?"

Twin pops were a necessary staple in this house at summertime for me and mama. We always split them.

Never the one to turn down a delicious frozen treat, I nod and sit up on my bed. She throws the wrapped half to me and I catch it, "Thanks, mama."

She nods and shuts the door as she leaves. And I'm alone with my cherry popsicle. I peel the paper back and throw it in my trash can. Then I take it between my lips and close my eyes. The next thing I know, I'm sitting with my back against the wall and jacking off while relishing the cold sticky flavor on my tongue…and all my thoughts are on when I saw _him _eat a cherry popsicle.

_It had only been a couple weeks after me and Edward had been holding it steady at second base. We were at my house on a Wednesday afternoon, mama was at work and Rose was in Seattle shopping with a girlfriend. _

_Me and Edward had the house all to ourselves. _

_It was an unusually hot day, even for summer in Forks. We were sitting on the couch, blazing from my pipe when Edward looked over at me through red, glazed over eyes, "My throat is so dry…"_

_I rolled my eyes, "Dude? You know where the fridge is."_

_He smirked and huffed dramatically as he got up and walked to the kitchen. _

"_Hey, can I have cherry popsicle?"_

_I shrugged, "Sure, man…whatever."_

_I heard a sound that made my cock perk up at attention._

_I looked over into the kitchen and saw Edward leaning against the counter, eyes closed and sucking that cherry popsicle half way down his throat._

_I don't remember walking to the kitchen but suddenly I was there, standing in front of him._

_He seemed completely oblivious to me standing there, watching him perform felatio on that god damn popsicle when it should've been my dick._

_His lips were bright red and his scarlet tongue would snake out and lick the dripping sweetness along the ridge of that lucky fuckin' popsicle._

_Finally, his eyes opened lazily and he smiled as he slurped the red drops and then ran his tongue along his bottom lip with a satisfied smile._

_I stood there, frozen…unable to get the vision of him slurping the nut off my cock like he did that popsicle, outta my head._

_He brushed the cold tip across my bottom lip and smiled, "Want a lick, Jas?"_

_Did I mention yet that Edward is fuckin' awesome? _

_Just in case I didn't…Edward is fuckin' __**awesome**__! _

_He parted my lips and I looked into his eyes, watching them grow heavy as I sucked the tip into my mouth and swirled my tongue around it._

_He grinned that crooked little grin that usually meant he was up to something, before leaning forward and running his tongue along the length of the popsicle while I sucked on the tip._

_Moments later, the popsicle was in the trash and he was on his knees as I leaned against the counter, gripping the edges until my knuckles were white._

_He looked up at me with bright green eyes and cherry lips while he slowly undid my jeans. I was already feeling completely twisted, stoned again on Edward Cullen._

_When my jeans were opened, he tugged them down until they pooled at my feet. I was left in tie dye boxers with stoned happy faces all over them._

_He smiled up at me and chuckled a little before sliding them down too. _

_My cock sprang forth, weeping with joy._

_And then the whole world tilted on its axis as those cherry lips wrapped around the tip…that scarlet tongue, cold and wet against the heated skin of my pulsing cock._

_He sucked more and more down his throat, swirling his tongue all around the head and along the ridge. _

_I fought the urge to buck forward, my dick anxious for more of that heavenly mouth._

_His hand wrapped around the base, covering what he couldn't take down in throat as he began working them both together. My hand wrapped into his hair and I just ran my fingers through his crazy bronze locks while I watched my cock disappear between those smooth cherry lips._

_Edward's hands on my cock was fuckin' awesome._

_Edward's mouth on my cock was fuckin' phenomenal. _

_I could feel my toes curling and my eyes starting to roll as I rasped out a warning, "Gonna…cum…"_

_He kept his lips wrapped around the head and I could feel him sucking as my whole body trembled while I came down his throat._

_I was off in Edtopia again when I felt him tuck me back in and redo my jeans. Then he grabbed my biceps and pull himself up to his feet._

_He smiled and blushed…the cute fucker he is…_

"_Did it feel good?"_

_I sucked in a big breath and grinned, "Edward, everything you do feels good. Almost too good. You make me feel things that even drugs can't make me feel…not that I do drugs…I just smoke pot."_

_He laughed and pulled me into a hug…he liked hugging._

_I could feel his erection pulsing against my thigh and I couldn't leave my boy hangin' like that…well, not __**hangin'**__…but…whatever…_

_I reached down and palmed him through his jeans, he bucked into my hand and I smiled as took the lobe of his ear between my teeth and whispered, "Wanna go to my bedroom?"_

_He shuddered and nodded with a breathless, "Please, Jas…"_

_I grabbed his hand and all but yanked him down the hallway…the need for more of him…the perfect drug._

_The second my door was shut, we were fused together at the mouth as hands began ripping off clothes as we stripped our way to the bed._

_We fell together, bare chested and jeans and boxers around our knees._

_My cock was rising again as he rubbed his hard dick shamelessly against mine._

_I had landed on top of him and his hands were on my ass, thrusting up and pulling me harder into him. I groaned into his mouth and dug my toes into the bed as I pushed back against him._

_We couldn't even get our jeans all the way off before we were both coming all over each others stomachs and cocks._

_We lay there for a minute, breathless and weak…finally I lift my head and smile, "How bout we take a smoke break…then I think I'm gonna try and go for third?"_

_He laughed, "Third base is awesome…"_

I sigh as I look at the empty popsicle stick and the messy streaks of my own cum that cover my belly…

_I'm pathetic…empty…just like this stupid popsicle stick._

I drag myself outta my bedroom and to the shower so I can wash my shame down the drain.

I can't fight the intense feeling to just see him alone again…just one more time.

Just touch him one more time.

One more kiss.

One last fix.

_And I wanna tell him I love him too._

As I get outta the shower, I wrap a towel around myself and grab the phone, praying that he picks up cuz his parents really don't like me.

"Cullen residence. Dr. Cullen speaking."

I groan internally and then clear my throat, trying to sound like an upstanding individual, "Hello, Mr. Cullen. May I speak with Edward, please?"

He huffed and I swear I could hear him roll his eyes, "Edward has to get up early in the morning, Jasper. We're leaving for California tomorrow. I heard that you got a scholarship to MIT. That's fantastic…it's so nice to see Ivy League schools reach out to the underprivileged."

And there it was. He considered me trash. I overheard him tell Edward once that Newton was the kind of friend he should have because that boy was going somewhere…he said that in five years, I'd be pumping his gas.

_Hey God, I know we don't talk much but if you could make me filthy stinkin rich so I can come back here and rub Dr. Cullen and Newton's faces in it…that would be awesome. _

I tried to keep my cool but I was grinding my teeth, "Don't worry sir…there are plenty of gas stations in Massachusetts for me to work at when they realize I'm just a poor, dumb redneck. Tell Edward I called."

I hung up before he could insult me again. My soul was hurting enough without adding insult to injury.

I sighed and threw on a pair of sweats before laying back down in bed again.

A knock interrupted my staring at the ceiling dejectedly…

"Come in, mama."

My door opened and mama had a small overnight bag on her shoulder, "Hey baby. I just got off the phone with Charlie and I'm gonna stay over there tonight since I don't have to work in the morning. You'll be okay on your own for the night, right?"

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that about the time I started dating Edward…my mama started dating Charlie Swan.

Yeah.

That's right.

Chief Swan.

He did actually seem like a decent guy…I mean, when he got called to the Dairy Queen that night after I closed up early cuz Aro was worried and called the cops about the 'bomb' threat…he just laughed about it to my mama when Aro wanted me to get in trouble for it.

The fucker fired me…wasn't that enough.

Although Edward did quit as soon as he found out and then Aro was left on his own until he hired new people.

Karma's a mother fuckin' bitch.

But I was a little upset that mama would leave me in my hour of need, "Mama? Do you really think it's a good idea for you to spend the night with this guy? You barely know him…"

She rolled her eyes and laughed, "I've known him for over ten years and he's the town Sheriff…I think I'm safe."

I didn't like it.

"But mama…you don't want him to, like…try and take advantage of you…"

She walked into my room with her hands on her hips…just like Rose. Thank God she was at USC.

"Son? I think you're missin' the bigger picture here…you're gonna have the whole place to yourself for the whole night…"

I furrowed my brows and pouted, "I know! I'll be all alone while you're off gallivanting around town with Chief Swan!"

She sat down next to me on my bed and grabbed my cheeks, squeezing them tightly until my lips puckered up and I couldn't talk.

"Son? Will you please stop thinkin' about my sex life and think about your own?"

I shuddered…mama's should never say the word 'sex'…it made it sound so dirty and…

_Wait? She's leaving for the whole night? I'm gonna have the house to myself all night? I gotta go get Edward!_

I finally started nodding so she'd let go of the death lock she had on my cheeks. I scrambled to find the jeans that he liked so much and always said they made my ass look so good he wanted to bite it.

She picked up her bag and smiled, "Be safe, baby. I love you and I'll be here at 10am."

I nodded as I pulled my jeans up, "Okay, mama…wait? Are you taking the truck?"

Just then I heard a honk and she smirked, "The keys are on the hook in the kitchen. Be careful. Good night, baby. Love you."

"Night, mama. Love you too."

I grabbed the condom that I had taken from health class and shoved it in my pocket.

She took off and moments later, I was on the road.

My hands were shaking as I pulled on his street and over to the curb.

I would let Edward get a homerun tonight if he would just come home with me.

I turned off the engine and sat there for a minute, gathering my courage.

Then I pulled out a joint and toked up on some smoked courage and a few minutes later, I was leaning against the tree that led to his bedroom.

His light was on and I could see his shadow moving across the room.

But I had to climb that tree.

I closed my eyes and did some relaxation exercises I saw on the Ricki Lake show.

_Eye of the tiger…face your fear…come on…this is the last chance you're ever gonna get to be with him…_

That got me moving as I grabbed onto the lowest branch and started shimmying up. His light went off and I cursed the snail like rate at which I was moving along the branches.

But this shit was high…and not the good kind of high.

I gripped tighter and scooted along.

I damn near fell when I heard a door open. My eyes snapped down as I saw Edward stepping out of the back patio door.

He started creeping around the side and I managed to whisper scream, "Ed!"

His face shot up to mine and I saw a mixture of amusement, curiosity…and love in his eyes, "Jas? What are you doing?"

I swear I thought I heard the branch creak and begin to buckle underneath me. I wrapped my body around it tightly and squeezed my eyes shut, "Looking death in the face and laughing…what are you doing?"

He chuckled and started climbing the tree like it was second nature, prying my fingers from the branches again and slowly helping me down.

Once we reached the ground, I crouched and took a few deep breaths. When I stood back up, he grabbed my hand and led me around to the front of the garage as he whispered, "What are you doing here?"

I took one more breath and looked into his gorgeous hemp eyes, "I just…wanted to say…I love you, too, Ed."

He smiled and I pulled him into a hug. He sighed against my shoulder and whispered, "Thanks for coming."

I held him close and whispered, "Where were you going?"

He sighed and looked up at me through his glasses, "I was coming to see you. I overheard my dad on the phone with you…I'm so sorry…"

I put my finger to his lips, "Shush now, darlin…it's not your fault your dad's a stuck up prick."

He sighed and kissed my fingertip before flicking his tongue out and whispering, "I wish we had more time…"

I stifled a moan and looked him in the eyes, "Um, Edward? Mama's gone tonight…for the whole night and um…if you wanted to stay over…I mean, I know your dad would never approve but…"

His eyes lit up as he grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the street, "Fuck my dad…we'll have the whole house alone? Really?"

I nodded and he smiled as he saw mama's truck parked down at the end of the street.

"Come on…I have to give up the next few years of my life for my father…tonight is ours. I'll deal with him tomorrow."

We laughed like two giddy teenagers as we hopped in the truck and headed back to my place.

When we got there, I parked the truck and turned to him. I had the condom in the palm of my hand as I grabbed his and looked down at the seat, "Um, Ed? I want…uh…"

His fingers wrapped around the package and I heard him take a sharp breath.

I could feel my face burning as I looked up at him, "I want you. You're my first kiss…my first boyfriend…my first love…I want you to be my first everything…"

_And my last._

He studied the shiny foil package in his hand, "But, Jas…I'm leaving tomorrow…are you sure you want to give this to me?"

I nodded as my chest ached, "I'm sure."

_I love you._

He smiled with red cheeks, "I love you."

_Freaky mind reading shit again…_

I was nervous about offering my ass up on a silver platter but this was Edward Cullen we're talking about.

Ed.

My best friend.

My lover.

My partner in crime.

With a nine inch cock.

_Fuck, I'm gonna need to get high…_

I smiled as he pulled out a big fat blunt, "We're probably going to need this."

_And that's just one of the reasons why I loved this boy…_

**A/N - Okay, so this chapter just got away from me and I have to split it up. So one…maybe two more chapters for this story. Hope you guys enjoyed!**


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